So I'm on my way to Yuk Yuk's last night, having set out some two and a half hours PRIOR to the gig to allow myself the requisite time to get lost (which I've been making a habit of every time I've driven to Calgary thus far).
It's a snowy night. The roads are icy. And it's pitch black.
Yet nothing will stop me. For this is my first night at Yuk Yuk's! And I am psyched! And...I am hardcore!
Then the rain starts. Which quickly turns to ice on my windscreen. Which, combined with the trucks zooming by in lanes which I can't even see the markings of...leaves me feeling a little frazzled. Suddenly I can't see a thing, and I'm struck by two thoughts:
1. If I die tonight, thus leaving my kids motherless for a 7-minute spot at a comedy club, I'm gonna be mighty peeved.
2. There is no WAY I'm leaving this planet to the sound of a Jessica Simpson track. (Hey, it was the only radio station I could get reception on, gimme a break!)
And so, I did the unthinkable, pulled over at the nearest petrol station, calmed myself and phoned Tim to ask him to call the club and explain that I wasn't game to make it. "Wow," teased Tim. "You're giving up a gig? It must be REALLY bad!"
And so I dragged my sorry icicled butt back home at a mind-boggling highway pace of 60kph. All dressed up with nowhere to go, I got home in time to read books to my little dude and kiss both kidlets goodnight, then drowned my sorrows in some way-too-rich licquer with the Tim-meister, followed by practising on my keyboard (I'm learning to play Jerry Lewis style...yeehaw!) and then staying up WAY too late to polish off Steve Martin's Born Standing Up. Which, might I add, is so full of insight and general all-round marvel that when I was only a third of the way through I already could not WAIT to read it all over again! If you are a comedian, you must read this. That is an order.
Now excuse me while I finish calming down this morning. After last night's highway escapades, I think I'm due for at least a chant or forty-four.
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4 comments:
That's a real shame, that you didn't make it. But considering the circumstances, it was definitely the sensible option. You may have stood there for 7 minutes like a rabbit caught in headlights! Hope they ask you back....
well done. brave decision, but I'm sure you already know it's the best one!
xx
jen
how are we going to get up the mountain? i'm scared!
can we go sit in the hot springs up the top of that mighty big mountain?
jen,
can you teach me how to play jerry lewis style? i mean, jerry LEE lewis style? i reckon jerry lewis style would be pretty hilarious actually.
jen...we've packed our freight. and done a trial run on the backpacks. we comin girl!
xx ash
Miss Understood - I know, I know it sucks. I'm hoping I can work out another date soon, weather permitting! From what I've been told from the locals round here, it's pretty understandable to chicken out (only yesterday our friends saw three cars spun off the highway and today we saw an overturned car en route to Banff) so hopefully it will all work out. :)
Mezz - Thanks hon. Yeah, I definitely did the right thing, I'm just hoping the weather is kind soon!
Ash - We'll be right, we'll sort it somehow!! Hopefully by then my kahunas will have grown an inch or four. Springs is a definite yes!! I'd pay big money to play Jerry Lewis style, we'll have to do some jamming for sure when you get here. Will rock da townhouse.
So excited, just spoke to Ang before and was drooling about how much I cannot WAIT til you guys get here! xoxox
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