Monday, January 29, 2007

Dreamgirls Schreamgirls

I took Caleb to see Dreamgirls last night. And as much as I love the musical, as much as I adore Beyonce (except for this weird obsession she has lately with holding her arm over her head in every single photo snap - I don't know what happens to people when they become mega-famous but gees it happens quickly) as much as I adore glitz and glam, I just thought this was just complete Oscar hype.

Essentially I think the problem was that they left it too long to establish that this film was a musical. I know what you're thinking: "Duh, Jen. Dreamgirls! You're seeing a film about a singing trio, of COURSE it's a musical!"

But no, you criticise too soon, dear people. For what I mean is that while there are plenty of rockin musical numbers in the film, it takes almost forty minutes until someone actually bursts into song mid-scene (as in, the song is part of the actual scene and not just them singing on-stage), meaning that you are quickly taken aback, like "What the hell's happening? Oooooohhhhhh....it's a musical..."

But by that stage it's too late - breaking into song mid-scene just looks silly. And continues to just look silly. Seriously...when Beyonce and Jamie Foxx turned to each other for a musical heart-to-heart, people in the movie theatre started laughing. Even Caleb was laughing. Then Caleb was wriggling, yelling "Mummy, let's go!"

I couldn't help but agree.

So we did.

But for the waste of a movie ticket, I couldn't help but walk out of that theatre feeling just a little cooler, knowing that my son, my 2-year-old son, is completely and utterly Oscar hype proof.

If only we could get some kindergardners on the Academy voting committee...

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Zen and the Art of Stand-Up Comedy

The subject title of this post also happens to be the title of one of the first books I ever read on stand-up, and I'm going to go through and read it again. Also on my list of things to do to feed my inner comic this year is:

- Watch and learn from more amazing comedians. I started last night by watching my new Bill Bailey DVD - apparently since our plans have commenced Operation Hiccup I am a little less motivated to save $$ - and was absolutely blown away. If there is a comic I want to be, it's him. Though with larger boobies and more hair.

- Get my hands on a copy of Comedian, a documentary Jerry Seinfeld did on the comedy world a few years back. Both Fred Lang and Greg Sullivan have urged me to watch this, if not threatened to batter me senseless with a rotten cucumber if I do not.

- Spend more time talking to comics about comedy. I'm such a geek - but I do love hearing people talk comedy, share their experiences for better or for worse and get their take on how this whole crazy business works. Greg Sullivan, for instance, was sharing his thoughts the other night on how comedy is like martial arts - you work your way up through the belt colours, you learn from your teacher/mentors and when you see someone who's finally cracked it and gotten their black belt, they're just so pumped and you know the amount of time and effort it's taken them to get there.

Here endeth the comedic resolutions for 2007.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

The best laid plans...

To update y'all:

- The van's still missing. The cops seem confident we'll find it again. In what condition is another matter.

- This, combined with serious visa issues, means that our travel plans are potentially significantly set back, seeing as we were planning to sell the van ASAP and use the cash to subsidise the trip.

- Ella's latest commentary on the whole affair includes "Whoever stole our van is very, very naughty!" and "Tonight I'm having booby ice-cream."

Don't ask.

Monday, January 22, 2007

2007's not off to such a great start.

Our van's been stolen. Yes, that's right, our home, ladies and gentlemen, has been stolen. It sucks.

It took us months to save up for that tank of petrol.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Belated New Year Resolution

I've been fighting it and fighting it, but I just can't NOT make New Year Resolutions - it's like putting a fudge covered chocolate sundae into my mouth and telling me not to eat it, or like putting on my new all-time favourite movie Kung Fu Hustle on the television when I have absolutely nothing to do and asking me not to watch it, or like throwing Johnny Depp into my house drenched in Bailey's Irish Creme and forbidding me to lick him.

Just not gonna happen.

BUT...I'm keeping it simple. My resolution, for 2007 is quite simply, to be disciplined. In terms of how I treat my family, my money, my career and my body, I want to set my mind to the way I want to live and then actually apply myself to do it.

There, that's it. Easy.

(Oh, and if anybody actually wants to drop Johnny round - with or without the Irish Creme - then please at least call me beforehand so I can clean the place up a bit.)

Friday, January 19, 2007

Losing my blogging mojo

So I could bore you with the endless visa dramas we're encountering at the moment, how no matter how many websites we scour, e-mails we send, people we talk to and phone calls we make, it's almost impossible to get a straight answer to our questions and thus we find oursevles left in limbo land plans-wise. How at this stage, we may be overseas as early as April, or as late as the end of the year. How we might be in the UK or Canada or the USA.

But I won't. Firstly because it seems incredibly diva-ish to even whinge about options which are so incredibly exciting, and secondly, because I've got something far more indulgent to whinge about: the loss of my blogging mojo.

There used to be a time, let's call it The Honeymoon, when I would reign myself in from blogging too much, such was the strength of my addiction. But lately I've been scratching my head and wondering what the hell I should even blog about - and I think I've figured out why.

1. I've been blogging now for almost two years - 2005 on Vibewire, and then 2006 on Comic Mummy. Maybe like all relationships, we've hit a point where the initial fiery passion has worn out a little bit and we're now at the more 'settled' stage of our day-to-day cohabitation.

2. What started out as much more of a personal blog, has now evolved so much - both in content and in readership - that it has left me constantly second-guessing and censoring myself i.e. I don't write the personal stuff so much anymore for fear that a producer will choose that day to check out my site. It has happened (i.e. not the two events colliding - touch wood - but industry and professional people do check out this site and thus my awareness of the need to keep it all appropriate is pretty justified.)

I mean, when I started blogging at Vibewire, I had literally only just started getting back into performing again, whereas now it's pretty much 95% of my career. Things are going well. But in short, my reasons for blogging, and I guess the life I lead (and therefore blog about) has changed.

On the upside, I absolutely LOVE the fact that people read what I have to write. I don't understand why anybody would really care enough to come back time and time again, but for whatever reasons, there's a fair few of you guys who do, and whether you comment, lurk or just occasionally check in, thanks heaps. With 100% honesty, you should know that since I've been feeling this lack of blog enthusiasm, that really has been the only reason I've kept posting: because I know that people are checking the site and continuing to read what I put on it. So kudos to you!!

Look at me, I'm a blogging cliche.

Anyway, the point is, I'm sure that what I'm feeling is just a seasonal dip in a blogging lifetime. I shall look forward to more long walks on the cyber-beach and some virtual candle-lit dinners, so we can get our mojo back. Baby.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Adios, Homelessness!

We've found a place to stay! Hooray!

That's the end of rhyming for this blog post, I promise.

But seriously...I'm thrilled to report that my dear friend Mango Lick's boyfriend has organised for us to sublet his house until we leave for abroad (which has now been bumped up to late March/early April), meaning that we no longer have to:

- tear up while watching "The Pursuit of Happyness"

- spend every single day enjoying the plethora of activites, shelter and air-conditioning on offer at Queensland Art Gallery (which, overlooking the fact that I don't get paid to plug them, you have GOT to go see if you're in Brissie and have children. It is like heaven on a nappy-wipe.)

- regress to our wild pre-kids days of continuously crashing on people's couches.

HUZZAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, January 15, 2007

There Ain't No Groupies Like 3-year-old Groupies

So I'm doing story-telling at the new schmicko and amazing art gallery (which, might I add, is completely and utterly stunning and more importantly, child-friendly right down to the air conditioning and on-tap supplies of sunscreen) for the APT Kids Summer Spectacular.

Such a sweet gig - I get paid to rock up, tell stories for 25 minutes and then take my own kids to some of the wicked activities on offer and thus actually look like a semi-decent parent.

Then of course, today I actually got mobbed at the end of the show. By toddlers, no less. Have I made it, or what?

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

The Comic Mummy Turns 250!

Haha, sorry I couldn't resist.

The rate I've been blogging since moving the blog here (which, might I add, wasn't even a year ago), there's almost been a birthday every week. I feel like one of those women from the last century who had 17 kids. Actually no, not quite that bad. My uterus, at last check, was still inside my body. Anyhooo......I shouldn't joke about such things, lest comedy karma comes back to bite me in the ass. Or the uterus. Or whatever.

I'm in a bit of a strange mood. To update y'all:

- we're still homeless, looking for a temporary and cheap abode;
- we're still enjoying the novelty of this. Stay tuned though - once we have to start milking stray cats to fill up the bowl of homebrand cornflakes, things could be different; HOWEVER
- more excitingly, the entire family is going to be heading overseas in the middle of this year!!! We've been talking about this for ages, and having just packed up the house and with the kids not yet legally required to be in school, figure there's probably not going to be a better time to do this. Originally we were going to do Canada, but job opportunities for Tim are so much better in the UK, so looks like that's the plan. Go over, I'll do my show at Edinburgh Fringe Fest in August and then hang round for six months or so with Tim teaching and me gigging and hopefully getting the odd travel trip to Europe in between.

But for now...scrimping, saving and savouring sunny weather and happy friends.

Poverty-stricken or no, life rocks.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Houston, We Have A Performer

Ella: Mummy, what's this? (does a bow.)

Me: A bow.

Ella: When do you bow?

Me: Right after you've finished your performance.

Ella: Why?

Me: I guess so you can let people say thank you for performing.

Ella: Can you please make me skip and then clap?

Me: Okay.

(spinning the skipping rope, Ella jumping five or six times until missing the rope)

Me: (clapping) Yay! Woohoo! Ella! etc....

Ella: (bowing) Thank you ladies and gentlemen. Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen... (yelling) IS EVERYBODY HAVING A GOOD TIME?!!!!!

***

I promise I'm not training her.

No, REALLY.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Woodford Folk Festival: A Spaced Odyssey

Wow. I may never recover. For this year's Woodford Folk Festival was definitely up there amongst one of the best weeks of my entire life.

I've been to five Woodfords now, but this one was the first in years that has featured a marked time without kids. We took them up for the first couple of days - unfortunately these were the days that decided to be rain-drenched and mud-soaked - still, the kids had a wicked, if not messy, time, spent mostly at the kids' fest. Which, might I add, completely rocks. Ella totally dug her juggling workshop and is eagerly awaiting the opportunity to do it again next year when her gross motor skills actually allow her to catch.

Woodford with kids = fun but hard work.

Wooford with rain and kids = hell on a mud-stick.

Hence, a couple of days in and we opted for a trip up the Coast to drop the kids off for a lovely little holiday with Auntie Liz and Uncle Andrew, thereby giving Mummy Jen and Daddy Tim the first ever occurrence of four nights off together since Ella was born.

Let me hear you say "YEAH!!"

In short, we had a blast. Highlights in bullet point:

- camping with the comedians and posse at the infamous Retox Centre in the performers' camp (including S Sorenson, Alan Glover, Simon Rogers, Bart Freebairn, Chris Radburn, Mandy Nolan and regular visits from Liz Skitch and more...) with conversations, rants and outbursts that left my insides absolutely sore from laughter, far more than anything I've ever seen onstage.

- jamming some improv songs with fellow camper Doctor Harry and having a go at performing a couple in a fill-in spot I did in the club on Thursday; it was okay but I think I've since decided that improv songs alone probably isn't the best thing in a stand-up environment, but I'm dead keen to experiment more with it, get better at it and find a form where it does work for solo stuff!

- performing in the improv night, where amongst other things, I was bestowed the absolute unadulterated honour of playing "The World's First Hippy."

- rocking out in a couple of gigs at the Chai Tent (a place so close to my heart and dreadlocks...not that I have them but if I did that's where it'd be) where a couple of teenage boys called out to me saying "We adore you!" Not really who I would have picked as my typical audience (nor would I have picked that as the language they would use for a compliment) but I enjoyed both. Oh, plus two cute young ladies found me backstage after and told me "Oh my God, we're like totally being your groupies."
"Oh my God!" I replied. "I have groupies!"

- bringing in the new year at the amphitheatre with my hubby, darling sister Ang, and the posse of friends & limbs.

- getting my mojo back yet again with my gorgeous hubby: whaddya know, all we needed was a few nights off.

- seeing (in no particular order:)

Mal Webb (who also caught my Chai Tent set and we chatted backstage after: what a lovely man and bloody brilliant performer - I WANNA LOOP STATION!)

Hamill on Trial (WHOA WHOA WHOA) - talk about a guy who is just so confident in who he is and by asking nothing from the audience, is actually rewarded with complete authority over them. Just amazing.

Kya - I was on a deadline to get back to the campsite yet could NOT walk past the concert stage when I overheard these girls' stunning voices and harmonies. I bumped into them later that night in the Bazaar and told them as much.

Kaki King - technically brilliant but I didn't make it through more than two songs. I know some people were raving about her, and I do admire the confidence of someone whose approach is 'I'm so genius at what I do I really don't need to do anything but sit here and play' but I guess I've realised I do appreciate showmanship.

Rory McLeod - I first saw him in Tasmania years and years ago and thought he was brilliant then, so seeing him be one of the 'it' people of this year's fest was quite cool. An amazing storyteller - you really feel like each of his songs really holds huge significance for him.

Herb Armstrong - I can't remember his full name, only that he's apparentyl Louis Armstrong's grand-son...talk about stage presence. The guy had the audience eating out of his hand the night we caught him in the Blues Tent - he seemed hugely disappointed at the end when he wasn't allowed to proceed with the encore due to time constraints.

Umbilical Brothers - I could barely see cos the concert stage was bulging like a fat gut over the top of jeans, but the bit I did catch was enjoyable. Their physical commitment to everything they do - and their connection with each other - is just perfect.

PO' Girl - this folky four-some of girlies from Canada just played some of the most gorgeous melodies: we crossed paths backstage at the Chai Tent and...what do you know, they're nice too.

Kafka - who, I'm so chuffed to say, were playing with my and Mango Lick's dear mate Kelly Timmons, who was BRINGING DOWN THE HOUSE. I was so proud, I almost shed a tear of chai.

Oh, oh, and so many more...but in short, I learned something about performing from every single person I ever saw. It was by far the best Woodford I've ever been too, though in fairness, that's possible just cos I had my hands free.

Excuse me now while I battle off my post-fest blues.

*sniff*

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

New Year, New Plan

To my dear readers,

No doubt you've all disowned this blog days ago - after all, how could I just ABANDON you like that?

Okay, so I left for Woodford Folk Festival for a week or so...but I did leave a little bowl of water out and the windows slightly down, so surely you can find some forgiveness in your heart...

Yeah? You're reading on? WOOHOO!!! Welcome back and I promise I'll be more attentive from now on.

Big Big BIG plans to share...but for now you'll just have to take my word for it.

I'll write soon! Promise.

Here, have a lollypop on me. x