And the winners of the 'Rename My Blog' Comp are...

Mr Anonymous and Louise!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Congrats, congrats, chinkedy chink, clinkedy clink and clunkedy clunk.

I'm afraid I'm still not completely satisfied with the state of my site yet, I've been stuffing around with it for the past couple of hours and consequently am going to be beating to death the first hare I spy in the morning and using its stiff little ears to prop my eyes open.

But I am super satisfied with the new name and tagline of sorts. Ta!!!

Oh and, hehehem...

*tuning guitar*

"Tourelie (how the heck do you spell 'tourelli?"), toureli, all I can spare...
Is only six ribbons to tie up your hair."

I'm Sorry Mama...

I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to make you cry but tonight, I'm cleaning out my...

Oh sorry! You interrupted me.

May I just publicly say though, how completely and utterly underappreciated mothers are. Well, parents full-stop. But particularly mothers. I'm not martyring myself here (I'm saving that for later in this entry), but rather I'm referring to my own mother. Well, both of them, my real mum and my grandma, who raised me after mum number one died. For my dear mothers, I never in a million years realised how much you went through to get me here.

Firstly, childbirth. I truly think that on every birthday, we should just pause for a moment, pick up the nearest trumpet and blow. It doesn't even need to sound like 'The Last Post', just the thought will count.

Secondly, just dealing with the craptitude (yep, that's my new word for it) that comes with kiddies. I am astounded that you got through all that yuckiness I dished out, on top of sleep deprivation no less, and did so without even once spraying windex in my eyes. Thank you.

But finally, today I realised yet another marvel of effort that you put in - and here begins my martyrous spiel - in the form of getting me ready for school. Holy over-battered guacamole. I had no idea.

Ella is starting school on Tuesday, you see, which, while completely exciting on the one hand, completely shocked me with how much preparation it entailed. I could rant about it with a thousand words, so instead I'm posting a picture. (But just SEE all those sharpened pencils, all individually named?!??!?!?!??!)

In seriousness, I'm stoked for Ella. She's going to an amazingly gorgeous little school with mountains as the backdrop to its playground...AND will be doing the French immersion program meaning that with the exception of her music class, her teachers will only be speaking French!

Part of me is terrified it will tip her over-stimulation scales over the edge and she'll implode, the other part is terrified she'll return home to me all 'Oooh la la, Mama, dzooo yer not knooow 'ow ter speak la Francaise? Oooh, how yer suck..."

Back to the brighter side, at least I'll be just that one step closer to being able to strike up a friendship with Johnny Depp the day that my little french speaking daughter ends up in the same playground as his little french speaking daughter. Masterful.

Ooh la la.

Working on the home (not in the Martha Stewart way)

I FINALLY feel that sense of relief that can only come after having worked towards something for months and months, only to have it come to fruition. Well, the kind that might also come from having escaped the clutches of a serial killer. But for now, let's go with working towards something.

For today, we moved into our new abode, the abode which will be our home-base for the next six months. And...despite the risk we took in signing ourselves up for it before having even cast a glance at it, I'm happy to say that we've been here less than two hours and already it completely rocks.

Check out the view from our balcony! I've honestly been walking around the past couple of hours grinning like a certifiable lunatic and even (and I swear this is true) bursting into spontaneous giggles.

Boy, oh boy, Tim's in for a long six months.

I'm so relieved that this is a place we can really embrace as a home, rather than just another temporary shelter til we make the next move (okay, okay, so it kinda is that too, but just indulge me for a moment). Cos we really need to work on our home-life at the moment.

In grand Comic Mummy fashion, I realise I've simply assumed that I've explained myself to you, dear reader, specifically in terms of why we've decided to make the move here. But I haven't. How to explain?

Well, take today for instance: I was supposed to take the bus to Calgary today to audition for a comedic/musical/dinner show that features regularly right here in Canmore! A paid performance opportunity, 5-6 nights per week, right here in the middle of the mountains; it sounded too good to be true (and would seemingly address my greatest fear in being here, that in spite of its beauty and creative inspiration, that my performance skills are going to rust up).

But then Tim seemed a bit out of sorts - after discussing it and how it would mean going straight back into the cycle we've been in for the past year (i.e. him working all day, then me going out all night to perform = us passing like two ships in the night), I ended up deciding to give it a miss.

I won't pretend I wasn't a bit disappointed (but the disappointment was allayed by Tim compromising and agreeing to support me setting up some comedy stuff of my own two nights a week instead) - but those of you who've read this blog for a while will know that I do find the comedy/family balance pretty damn elusive.

And THAT, my dear friends, is the real reason for this trip into the mountains. To have a bit of downtime in an environment which will help us get our family life back on track.

I mean, the initial major drawcard for coming to Canada for me was the pumping comedy and improv scene: if I'd had it my way we'd have been straight to Toronto so I could pick up with Second City and gig hard!

But I always come back to the fact that at the end of my life, I think the biggest achievement of all will be keeping my family together. Because it's bloody hard! I honestly look at every couple with children and find myself shaking my head that ANYONE is able to stay together.

Anyway, that's a whole other blog. The point is, that moving here, in the mountains, was our compromise.

And some compromise it's turning out to be!

Don't say I didn't warn you

Today has been our first taste of chilly Canada weather and I have to say, it's really not that bad. Then again, ask me when it gets down to negative 35. I'm planning on sitting on the oven for six months.

Anyway, as promised/warned/threatened, here's some photos, photos, photos galore...

LEFT: Where we walk every day to get into town, all the time keeping an eye out for bears.

RIGHT: Our first beany clad outing - I'm not even sure Caleb could see.

LEFT: Note to Canada: these signs do NOTHING, I repeat, NOTHING to allay tourist fears of meeting their end. Then again, maybe that's what you're going for. If so...carry on.

RIGHT: Oh boy, if we ever make it big, this is where I'm buying.

LEFT: This is the sign on the public bins - uh....do you think the innuendo is intentional?

Ice-skating versus rock-climbing

They have kids' classes for BOTH, would you believe? And while I was super-excited about getting Ella into a dance class or something, we agreed today it would be much cooler (no pun intended) to do something that she could only do in Canada. I mean, the hip-hop/shake-your-booty 45 minute dance class at the Shazza Bazza School for Pointed Toes can happen anywhere....right?

Soooo...Cay and Ella are gonna tackle their choice of ice-skating or rock-climbing.

Unless of course, you guys have any other ideas to throw in the pot?

Note: I don't think waffle-eating counts: they've already started.

The view from our room

Left: the beyond stunning view (suffice to say this photo doesn't even come close to doing it justice) from our room at the Banf Centre. We've had to keep brown paper bags on tap just to deal with it every morning.

PS As you can see, I finally got the camera sorted. Soon you'll be begging for photographic mercy!!!

A blog entry of immense practicality

A repost of an e-mail conversation today between me and Girl Clumsy - partly cos I'm always forgetting to address the damn obvious on this blog (i.e. I assume I've filled you in on all the nitty gritty details but then realise later there are more holes in the story than a bunny-infested golf course) and partly cos I'm just lazy.

Girl Clumsy wrote:

Hey there!

Hope everything's going well in Canuck-land... I must say that Banff Centre looks lovely. My parents have been to Banff, but I've yet to get to Canada.

May I ask what is the nature of your residency at the centre? How did you apply, and do you have to pay, or did you get a grant for that as well?

It makes me wish I was actually a proper writer so I could do something like that!

Cheers, Natalie.

Well hello hon!

Great to hear from you! Everything's going beautifully thus far, makes all the agony of getting here totally worth it, I'm very happy to say. I couldn't recommend visiting this place enough - it's honestly the most beautiful and magical place I've ever been in my entire life, not that I've travelled that extensively overseas, but I've seen quite a lot of Oz which are pretty awesome.

The residency I'm doing is an independent one at the Leighton Studios, there are about 8 (I think?) of these studios on site that artists can apply to use for however long, for whatever purposes they desire. I'm using the time to work on developing a new show (specifically focusing on incorporating more multimedia into what I do, taking advantage of the awesome New Media Centre here) plus honing my performance techniques, practising lots of piano and voicework, plus I'll do whatever relevant workshops are going on at the time. I'm hoping to organise for one of my mentors from last year's trip to join me for some of the time too, but obviously that will depend on availability and funds!

I do have to pay for it, but thankfully they've subsidised me 50% - I'm waiting to hear back on a couple of different grants to help me out ,but worst case it's going on the credit card!!

Of course you can do something like this!!! You don't have to wait for someone to tell you you're a proper writer or anything - just go for it. I have to say I think I applied for about a gazillion grants (wwwaaaaaay before I was even closer to 'proper' or whatever that even means) before I got one. So I would say just check out anything and everything that interests you and put in for it - as my grandma always said to me 'you've gotta be in it to win it!'

Wow, what a rant. That's longer than my blog entries! Actually, I might even just repost this reply for today's one. ;-)

Take care honey and great to stay in touch.
Jen. x

When I die, I wanna end up in Banff

I think today has been one of the most magical of my entire life. And considering that my 21st was an 'Enchanted Forest' theme, complete with goblins, gnomes and a washing line converted into a giant mushroom, I think that's really saying something.

Banff is just gorgeous beyond all words, at times walking around it today I felt like my heart was in serious danger of bursting.

Timmy, the kids and I - after our middle-of-the-night shenanigans - slept in until midday, then went off to enjoy our very first meal (at spectacularly cheap artists' rates) at the Banff Centre's main dining hall. WOW. Normally the word 'buffet' takes me back to the days of queueing up for years at Toowoomba's Sizzler, only to have mum force-feed my sister and I twelve plates at a time so as to get our full moneys' worth. But with some of the most magnificent food I've ever eaten in my life, The Banff Centre has fully restored respect to the word.

And ahhhh, the Banff Centre. I've barely been here 24 hours and already I never want to leave. It's an unofficial university of sorts for all creative types, who come from all over the world to take part in workshops, masterclasses, residencies, conferences, performances and everything in between, surrounded by utter unadulterated beauty from every angle - in other words: heaven on a mountain.

We spent much of the afternoon strolling the main street, took the kids to the Museum where Caleb spent much of the time cuddling the puppet grizzly bear to death - heaven help us if we ever actually come across a real one - then swam our hearts out in Heaven's fitness centre.

In short, bring on the champagne, baby!

For I am in love.

And the downside of travelling with kids...

...they wake up at midnight, demand breakfast and then spend the next three hours jumping on the bed spilling rice cakes everywhere.

Plus there's the jetlag-induced psychosis. *shudder shudder shudder*

Back on the upside, holy expletive Batman! Banff is beyond beautiful. OMG. I wish I could show you the view from our room - but in typical CM crazy fashion my batteries carked it just as I started to upload them. Sadness.

We're now heading down to explore the town, get some groceries and all the while try to avoid bumping into the apparently crankier-than-a-jetlagged-toddler elk. 24 hours ago I didn't even know what an elk was, but apparently you do NOT want to bump into one in the middle of a forest. Then of course, there's the bears. I asked one of the staff here where I could buy bear spray and her reply was "You know, if you ever get close enough for it to be effective, you're pretty much gone anyway."

Hehehehehhee.

*gulp*

The upside of travelling with kids

Damn, people can be friendly when they see you travelling with human baggage.

From the Qantas check-in guy who re-seated Ella and I to a row of four empty seats, so we could set up our own inflight double bed (I love you!), to the lovely Canadian ladies who helped Ella overcome her first tangible sign of culture shock in not knowing how to flush the toilet (I was stranded at the bathroom entrance manning our considerable luggage), to the immigration clerk who told me that Canada is so desperate for police staff that if I ever get pulled over for speeding, just to tell them that I'm thinking of applying.

Yes, that's right, even though our journey had its cranky moments, for the most part Ella travelled beautifully. We were directed to faster queues, we were handed special kiddy treats on the plane (ehem, I mean Ella was, ehem) and we even got the unimaginable from customs officers: smiles.

Plus as a bonus, I've already learned a couple of things, for instance:

- how during turbulence, Qantas has that one thing that no other airlines has: Dustin Hoffman's voice in your head going 'Qantas never crash.'

- how Canada's inability to commit to the one national language has both pros and cons. Pros in that magazine writers only need to come up with half the material, given that it is then translated in french for the other half. Cons in that of my three hour flight from LA to Calgary, two hours and fifty-five minutes was the safety spiel.

This afternoon we're back to the airport to meet Tim and Caleb, then the four of us crazy campers are off on the bus to Banff. More soon!

PS Thanks everybody for your brilliant suggestions for renaming the Comic Mummy blog. I've got it down to shortlist and am just waiting until I get my banner re-done so I can launch it with the visual enhancement is so richly deserves.

If I were a rich man...

Off we go!

After months of planning, scrimping and saving our buttocks off (how I wish this would transfer into real life buttocks-losing...but that's a whole other blog), tonight is our last night in Oz.

I have to say, I'm finally past the 'freaking out' stage and into the 'this is gonna be WICKED' phase. Seriously, no matter what happens on this mad adventure, I know that at the end of my life I'm going to feel so proud that we actually just bit the bullet and did it.

So, until we meet again on the other side of the ocean, this is the Comic Mummy signing out and saying 'adios amigos!!!!'

3 more sleeps!

We've gone from Poo Central to Whoopie City!

Clearly the prospect of our long-awaited overseas adventure is making me delirious.

Anyway, have a jam-packed weekend of saying final goodbyes to our loved ones, so blogs may be a little few and far between. But thanks heaps for all the fabbo re-name suggestions, winner coming ASAP!!!

Rename the Comic Mummy blog!

Okay folks, I've been racking my brain for ages (seriously, the minutes have hit double digits) trying to find a fabulous new name for the Canadian adventures of the Comic Mummy blog. But thus far, no booty.

Sooo....I'm taking it to the streets! Please suggest away in the comments section, think funny, un-funny, whatever you like, but some reference to Canada would be very cool. No pun intended.

And the winner will not walk away empty-handed! If I choose your suggestion as the re-named Comic Mummy blog, you will receive:

- the honour of naming a blog (okay, okay, so you could achieve this simply by starting your own blog - if indeed you haven't done so already - but hey, where's your sense of spirit?)

- and six ribbons to tie up your hair.

How can you refuse??? Let them roll henceforth.

A week today and we're off!

I'm hesitant to even put that in writing, so regular have become the hiccups in our plans of late - I feel like the dude on The Simpsons...


"Hic...kill me...hic...kill me...hic..."


But anyway, we've had some good stuff happen this week. All our visas are in the bag, baby, flights are confirmed, hotels are booked, apartment is ready and waiting soon after we arrive. Life is looking up. This time next week we will be hauling the kids onto the plane, strapping them in toilet-training nappies and trying to convince them that rolling the little milk sachets down the aisles of the plane does not constitute bowling. Yippeee!!!


In the mean-time, here's a couple of little follow-ups from previous blog entries.


1. My lovely auntie Deb wrote this to me yesterday, which I thought was very definite food for thought:


I so enjoyed reading your blogs and I noted the one about husband's leaving for work in the morning and leaving wives at home to mind house and kids etc etc etc. I sometimes wonder what happens to people once they marry. It seems to be a pattern in young couples -- equality until marriage then the stereotypal roles kick in == a sort of primitive type of -> You woman, you wife, you meant to housekeep and child watch. Me male, me go out hunt, me come home and put feet up. The woman does the same to herself too (so good on you for not stereotyping yourself and remaining true to logic). Further, I've noticed that the woman seems to have an "inner patriarch" which goes something like - "IN order to fulfill my destiny as a good wife I must sacrifice my needs and wants for the sake of the house etc etc etc." May not apply to all couples but have certainly noticed a pattern. Females are educated and expected to get a paying job upon leaving school but once married you also assume the traditional jobs as well. Research supports this contention - women still do 90% of domestic caretaking even whilst working in paid jobs and child rearing. Howzat?


Howzat indeed? Hmmmm.


In happier news...


2. The birthday cake GOT EVEN BETTER!!!!!!


Admittedly, it wasn't quite as pretty on the tastebuds as it was on the eye, but hey, I'm sure Beyonce isn't either.

My daughter on comedy

Her: "Mummy, how come when I try to make you laugh sometimes, you don't laugh?"

Me: "Well Ella, my job is to make people laugh and you know what I've realised? Sometimes people don't laugh, but that doesn't always mean that they don't still think it's funny."

Her: "Oh."

Thoughtful pause.

Her: "But I still like it better when you laugh."

Damn straight.

Live birthday blogging update!

We did it!!

Anyone familiar with my birthday cake track record will understand my need to gloat here in cyberspace. I now consider myself justified and officially worthy of being called 'Mummy'.

That is all.

5 Years Ago Today...

...just as Dylan whatever-his-name-is was being evicted from the Celebrity Big Brother house, so too was my little house-mate being evicted from the Big Mother house.

(Hehe, sorry, couldn't help it).

It's so funny, cos I remember the moment I found out I was pregnant - hell, who doesn't? - as being one of the worst moments of my entire life. That was certainly one of my life's greatest surprise lessons - that what seemed like the worst thing ever turned out to be the best thing ever.

See?

Anyway, the point is: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELLA!!!!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Now excuse me...I have to go and attempt the girl's birthday cake of choice this year: Noah's Ark.

Heaven help me.

Thoughts following a talking-to from she-who-cannot-be-named

...why is it, that the man in the house can leave for work before the kids are even up and return only an hour before they go to bed, and that's him 'being the breadwinner', yet when I, the woman of the house, leave for a gig after spending all day looking after said kids, that's me 'abandoning the family?'

The Tooth Fairy Visits: the Sequel

Two teeth in two weeks.

This kid is gonna send me broke.

Pollyanna is back in da house!

Firstly, Mum's results are back and it's not cancer!!!!!! Woot!*

Turns out it's a rare blood disorder, it's still not good as such, but compared to the alternative it's damn fine news indeed. We celebrated with fish and chips on the wharf. Rock.

And thanks so much to all you guys for the kinds words of support. It's meant a lot. :-)

*Understatement of the year.

Secondly, we've got an abode in Canada!!! It's all but finalised, but I'm terribly relieved/excited to not only be moving ahead with our plans but to have the accommodation side sorted out and from the sounds of it, it's rocking accommodation at that. A two bedroom townhouse nestled in a gorgeous little town surrounded by mountains.

So...as it stands, we will all be jetting off on the 21st August - two weeks today, in fact. We're heading to Banff/Canmore (big ski area complemented by massive creative centre for the arts) for the first six months, then we'll see. If we're loving it we'll hang around, if we're hungry for more we'll head to Toronto. Or maybe Vancouver. Or wherever tickles our fancy at the time. For as we all well know, time can bring a lot of changes. And surprises. And stuff.

But thus far, there stands the plan.

*madly knocking wood*

Sorry folks...

...but I'm seriously over writing negative blog entries. My nickname has always been 'Pollyanna' and I don't like it when my attitude starts to change: steam starts to come out of my ears and my hair goes extra curly. But lately I feel like I can't help it: life is starting to get the better of me.

Just found out yesterday that my mum's spleen is enlarged and she's anaemic, and thus has had blood tests and a bone marrow test to see if it's (not?) leukaemia. I don't want to over-dramatise and presume the worst, but for the moment my head's all over the shop and I'm thus taking a little break from blogging until I have something pleasant to write about. Yes, a blogging break.

At least for a few hours.

Upon discovering I shall be flying Qantas...

Mum's wise words to me this morning:

"You get onto them! Before you hop on the plane, ask them right then and there, 'now has this plane been serviced properly? Are you sure?'"

Hehe.

That'll learn em.