Dear body,
You know that you're the only one I really listen to, don't you? I mean, sure, I ignore you most of the time, but when you start breaking down and throw a mega hissy fit my way...well, I don't put you in time out, berate you for tantruming or even threaten you with the wooden spoon. No, I listen to you dear body, because I know that at the end of the day, if you're off, then I'm off.
So I'm sorry for letting you feel so out of sorts - how about we come to an agreement?
I promise to:
- pamper you a little and help you chill the heck out;
- actually fill you with decent food;
- water you more often; and
- occasionally take you out for a walk. Okay, okay, REGULARLY! Sheez.
In return I expect you to:
- pep up a bit - no offence but sometimes you can just be so damn draining;
- fight off any villains, viruses and other nasty 'v' words that come your way;
- quit complaining; AND
- radiate that crucial level of attractiveness: just enough to make me feel 'hummenah' but not enough to trigger local wildlife in a 5km radius to head my way and start humping my leg.
So...I trust we are in agreement.
My apologies again for any inconvenience.
Let's do lunch.
Jen. xx
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7 comments:
After a big night out on the tiles a friend of mine, Thorpie (not the super-fish) told me he was going to write a letter to his body to apologise...
Now I see what he meant- thanks for clearing that up Jen!
rn_buffoon
I need to make an agreement with my own body. The letter is very creative...
Can I please use this agreement for my body too? You put it so eloquently :)
rn_buffoon - my pleasure. Or rather, my body's. Or maybe both. I dunno where this is heading...
Rose/Caz - If there's ever one thing I thought my body wouldn't be, it's a source of inspiration. So all in all I'm rather chuffed.
Can your body tell my body that - cuz my bitch don't listen.....
Sharpie - sure thing. Send it over on the next flight and we'll get the bods together for a talking to.
Man, if things go really well and I really look after it, methinks my little bod bod could have income earning potential as a 'bod to bod' coach. Hmmm....
Yah. Sooooo not gonna happen.
that is so well written- hope u keep your word
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