And the nominees for 'weirdest search strings used to find the Comic Mummy blog this month' are:
"i like your bellybutton";
"SEX COMICS MUMMY";
but the winner is:
"girls having sex with octapus on porn sites".
Congratulations.
And get help. Please.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Warning: kryptic content within
Sorry for the lack of entries of late. I think I'm just a bit over myself lately.
Basically my mind has been quite preoccupied of late with some personal stuff, particularly on the topic of balancing family and this crazy industry called showbiz.
Those long-term CM readers may recall how last year I completely freaked out about not being able to manage both and decided to take a break from performing for a while, only to a week or so later receive news of being awarded a sizeable portion of cash from Brisbane City Council to go do comedy stuff in the USA. Since then, things have really started to kick off on the career front, which has been fabulous. However...the past couple of weeks I've pretty much come full circle and realised that while career-wise I'm in a very cool place right now, emotionally, I'm pretty much stuck in the same spot and faced with the same dilemma as I was way back then: when my family life is going well, it's usually cos the performing stuff is in downtime, and when my career stuff is kicking buttocks, my family life suffers.
And so I find myself questioning what I thought was my core belief: that you could have it all if you only had the guts to go for it. Now I'm honestly thinking that's a lie. You have to make choices and they're not always ones you want to make.
It's really made me reassess this whole Canada trip in terms of designing it so that it's not just a wicked career opportunity for me but an even more wicked family opportunity for all of us - to have an adventure together, do stuff that will be exciting and wonderful for everybody and to allow us the breathing space to reconnect and work together as a team.
Anyway, these are just random thoughts to keep you in the loop. Perhaps I'd best put my money where my mouth is, stop blogging this minute and go pull my kids off the chandeliers. Adieu.
Basically my mind has been quite preoccupied of late with some personal stuff, particularly on the topic of balancing family and this crazy industry called showbiz.
Those long-term CM readers may recall how last year I completely freaked out about not being able to manage both and decided to take a break from performing for a while, only to a week or so later receive news of being awarded a sizeable portion of cash from Brisbane City Council to go do comedy stuff in the USA. Since then, things have really started to kick off on the career front, which has been fabulous. However...the past couple of weeks I've pretty much come full circle and realised that while career-wise I'm in a very cool place right now, emotionally, I'm pretty much stuck in the same spot and faced with the same dilemma as I was way back then: when my family life is going well, it's usually cos the performing stuff is in downtime, and when my career stuff is kicking buttocks, my family life suffers.
And so I find myself questioning what I thought was my core belief: that you could have it all if you only had the guts to go for it. Now I'm honestly thinking that's a lie. You have to make choices and they're not always ones you want to make.
It's really made me reassess this whole Canada trip in terms of designing it so that it's not just a wicked career opportunity for me but an even more wicked family opportunity for all of us - to have an adventure together, do stuff that will be exciting and wonderful for everybody and to allow us the breathing space to reconnect and work together as a team.
Anyway, these are just random thoughts to keep you in the loop. Perhaps I'd best put my money where my mouth is, stop blogging this minute and go pull my kids off the chandeliers. Adieu.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
BrizImprovFest Day 2!
Yay! BrizImprovFest's interview on ABC radio the other day (with none other than Richard Fidler - I felt struck dumb upon meeting him, seeing as he and The Doug Anthony Allstars were probably amongst the first musical comedy acts I ever watched for hours at a time), is up in printed form on the web! Click here to check it out.
Thanks Girl Clumsy for the tip-off!
Meanwhile, the fest is nourishing my creative soul big-time. Wow. Met a wicked chick from Wellington Improv Troupe who went to Loose Moose a couple of years ago - the improv theatre school I'll be at in a month's time - who absolutely RAVED about it. I've honestly been so consumed with logistics lately I seem to have overlooked the fact that what's coming up is actually unbelievable. Agh! Good agh!
Tonight performed in Gorilla - at the risk of sounding repetitive, funnedy fun fun from players from a range of troupes - then was increasingly blown away throughout the night. As, it seems, were many people in the audiences, which - might I add - have been spectacularly cheery!
WIT's To Be Continued - a wicked show format, lots of having fun with each other and the audience, just a joy to watch. And DANG those Kiwis are funny people! Who knew? ;-)
Rebecca de Unamuno is Open to Suggestion - I have been looking forward to seeing this show, ever since I first read a review of it years ago when Bec was awarded the Loose Moose Award at Melbourne International Comedy Festival and then more recently upon hearing second-hand accounts of her amazingness. She performs a one-woman fully improvised show, with three different characters all made up based on audience suggestion. Boy, oh boy. She honestly blew even my highest expectations out of the water. The most common utterance I heard after the show was over was one word: "Wow."
The Crew's Instant Musical Odyssey - I laughed so bloody hard during this show. I want to write more wonderful things about it, only I'm raving so much about everyone that you're probably just going to roll your eyes and be all 'Alright Jen, you love the improv stuff, we get it." So I'll leave it there.
*calling over shoulder*
"But they were AMAAAAAAAZING!"
Thanks Girl Clumsy for the tip-off!
Meanwhile, the fest is nourishing my creative soul big-time. Wow. Met a wicked chick from Wellington Improv Troupe who went to Loose Moose a couple of years ago - the improv theatre school I'll be at in a month's time - who absolutely RAVED about it. I've honestly been so consumed with logistics lately I seem to have overlooked the fact that what's coming up is actually unbelievable. Agh! Good agh!
Tonight performed in Gorilla - at the risk of sounding repetitive, funnedy fun fun from players from a range of troupes - then was increasingly blown away throughout the night. As, it seems, were many people in the audiences, which - might I add - have been spectacularly cheery!
WIT's To Be Continued - a wicked show format, lots of having fun with each other and the audience, just a joy to watch. And DANG those Kiwis are funny people! Who knew? ;-)
Rebecca de Unamuno is Open to Suggestion - I have been looking forward to seeing this show, ever since I first read a review of it years ago when Bec was awarded the Loose Moose Award at Melbourne International Comedy Festival and then more recently upon hearing second-hand accounts of her amazingness. She performs a one-woman fully improvised show, with three different characters all made up based on audience suggestion. Boy, oh boy. She honestly blew even my highest expectations out of the water. The most common utterance I heard after the show was over was one word: "Wow."
The Crew's Instant Musical Odyssey - I laughed so bloody hard during this show. I want to write more wonderful things about it, only I'm raving so much about everyone that you're probably just going to roll your eyes and be all 'Alright Jen, you love the improv stuff, we get it." So I'll leave it there.
*calling over shoulder*
"But they were AMAAAAAAAZING!"
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Night pass for BrizImprovFest for $15 - Ask Me How!
Just imagine the subject title was printed on a badge right after the "JENNY" and we're on the same wavelength.
Cool.
Okay, well for those of you who really are just in this for the deal, here's the go:
Tonight at BrizImprovFest (details posted below), if you mention the word ‘Spontaneous’ at the door when you buy your tix, and you can receive a night pass (entitling you access to all four fabulous improv shows) for only $15! (Save $10). I’m performing in Gorilla Theatre at 5.30, followed by WIT from New Zealand, the brilliant Rebecca de Unamuno (The Chaser, Comedy Inc) and The Crew’s Instant Musical Odyssey which has sold out shows at Melbourne International Comedy Festival.
Secondly, I want to tell you that BrizImprovFest is going off! The crowds, while smaller than we'd prefer, have been very enthusiastic. Last night I caught the last half of the "Theatresports: Australia versus the World" match which combined improvisers from all different troupes appearing throughout the festival. It was so cool seeing people performing together who have only just met and are bound purely by an addictive passion for improvising. And it was very, very funny!
It really inspired me to chill out and just have fun and be joyful for my show - and indeed I did. Fun, fun times. Yet again I've come away with reams of notes and ideas on where I want to go from here, but I really must pay tribute to my most best and darling friends Frankie - who did my quite involved musical cues - with complete precision and funkiness. I LOVE YOU! And to Tamsin, my gorgeous, gorgeous friend who came not just to the first preview show a few weeks back, but also to the real deal last night (and lugged along a friend to boot). I heart you muchly also. xxx
Then I sat back and put my entertainment needs in the very capable hands of WIT (direct from NZ) and their improvised romantic comedy Love...Possibly. Again, it reminded me to find the real joy in being onstage - even when things were getting a bit crazy in some of the storylines, you could really tell how much those guys love each other and performing together, and that in turn becomes a real joy for the audience. They completed their first show in Oz to a rousing applause from Brissie punters.
Man I can't believe the cool and talented people that are here at the fest: TOUCHDOWN!
Details for you:
WHAT: BrizImprovFest, Queensland’s first festival of improvised theatre. Featuring guests from Sydney, Melbourne, New Zealand, US and Canada, plus Brissie’s best local talent.
WHERE: Metro Arts, 109 Edward Street, Brisbane
WHEN: Friday 22 to Sunday 24 June (see program below for specific times)
INFO: www.brizimprovfest.com
TIX: $10 per show or a night pass (all shows on that night) for $25 (or $15 if you mention 'Spontaneous' at the door)
BOOKINGS: www.oztix.com.au
PROGRAM DETAILS:
Friday 22nd June
TONIGHT! Saturday 23rd June
5.30pm Edge Improv (Brisbane) presents Gorilla Theatre
A no holds barred improv contest, where performers strive to be the best director and win the affections of ... the Gorilla! Each performer takes their turn directing a scene, after which you, the audience, decide if you want to reward the director.... or punish them! A fully interactive show where emotions get primal!
www.edgeimprov.com
7pm Wellington Improv Troupe (NZ) presents To Be Continued
Will Colonel Black use the gamma-ray blaster on the drippy boyfriend, in the library? Will Gaylene ever find true love? Was the gorgeous dame on the level, or on the lam? Love or murder? It’s YOUR choice. Would you like to see a thrilling suspense, a romantic comedy, a sci-fi adventure, a whodunit, musical or film noir? Come along and call the shots, to see who wins / lives / gets the girl / dies / rides off into the sunset / or sings.
www.wit.org.nz
8.30pm Rebecca De Unamuno is...Open to Suggestion
Rebecca is a regular on Australian television – featuring in “The Chaser’s War on Everything”, “Kath and Kim”, ‘CNNNNN”, “The Glass House”, “Joker Poker”, “Stand Up Australia” and many more. This show "Open to Suggestion" was a Moosehead Award recipient at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.
"De Unamuno's exquisite talent for creating characters on the spot, as well as a narrative to sustain them, is something to see." – Daniel Ziffer, The Age 2005
10pm The Crew (Melbourne) presents Instant Musical Odyssey
Australia's longest running and most successful weekly impro group 'The Crew' present their SELL-OUT 2006 Melbourne Comedy Festival show 'INSTANT MUSICAL Odyssey'.
A whole show of musical, improvised madness where audience suggestions are taken and hammered into a cogent narrative by 'The Crew'. Be amazed, be amused, sit in stunned disbelief as you choose the characters and 'The Crew' do the rest.
www.thecrew.com.au
Sunday 24th June
6pm Twisted Melon (Sydney) presents Blank...The Musical
After a wildly successful debut run of sold-out shows at Coogee Arts Festival, the inaugural Twisted Melon Impro Festival, and Cracker Comedy Festival, Blank...The Musical hits BrizImprovFest. Gasp in awe as improvisers perform a Broadway-style musical inspired solely on the BLANK filled in the audience. It’s a show with all the melody, harmony, fun and feeling of a regular stage musical - sans script and score.
7.30pm Impro Mafia (Brisbane) presents Iron Improvisor - Best of the Fest
See your favourite performers from across the entire festival battle it out together in a contest of wit and skill to earn the right to be crowned an Iron Improviser! Let the Tournament Begin! A glorious spectacle, “Best of the Fest” promises to be an action-packed way end your weekend.
Cool.
Okay, well for those of you who really are just in this for the deal, here's the go:
Tonight at BrizImprovFest (details posted below), if you mention the word ‘Spontaneous’ at the door when you buy your tix, and you can receive a night pass (entitling you access to all four fabulous improv shows) for only $15! (Save $10). I’m performing in Gorilla Theatre at 5.30, followed by WIT from New Zealand, the brilliant Rebecca de Unamuno (The Chaser, Comedy Inc) and The Crew’s Instant Musical Odyssey which has sold out shows at Melbourne International Comedy Festival.
Secondly, I want to tell you that BrizImprovFest is going off! The crowds, while smaller than we'd prefer, have been very enthusiastic. Last night I caught the last half of the "Theatresports: Australia versus the World" match which combined improvisers from all different troupes appearing throughout the festival. It was so cool seeing people performing together who have only just met and are bound purely by an addictive passion for improvising. And it was very, very funny!
It really inspired me to chill out and just have fun and be joyful for my show - and indeed I did. Fun, fun times. Yet again I've come away with reams of notes and ideas on where I want to go from here, but I really must pay tribute to my most best and darling friends Frankie - who did my quite involved musical cues - with complete precision and funkiness. I LOVE YOU! And to Tamsin, my gorgeous, gorgeous friend who came not just to the first preview show a few weeks back, but also to the real deal last night (and lugged along a friend to boot). I heart you muchly also. xxx
Then I sat back and put my entertainment needs in the very capable hands of WIT (direct from NZ) and their improvised romantic comedy Love...Possibly. Again, it reminded me to find the real joy in being onstage - even when things were getting a bit crazy in some of the storylines, you could really tell how much those guys love each other and performing together, and that in turn becomes a real joy for the audience. They completed their first show in Oz to a rousing applause from Brissie punters.
Man I can't believe the cool and talented people that are here at the fest: TOUCHDOWN!
Details for you:
WHAT: BrizImprovFest, Queensland’s first festival of improvised theatre. Featuring guests from Sydney, Melbourne, New Zealand, US and Canada, plus Brissie’s best local talent.
WHERE: Metro Arts, 109 Edward Street, Brisbane
WHEN: Friday 22 to Sunday 24 June (see program below for specific times)
INFO: www.brizimprovfest.com
TIX: $10 per show or a night pass (all shows on that night) for $25 (or $15 if you mention 'Spontaneous' at the door)
BOOKINGS: www.oztix.com.au
PROGRAM DETAILS:
Friday 22nd June
TONIGHT! Saturday 23rd June
5.30pm Edge Improv (Brisbane) presents Gorilla Theatre
A no holds barred improv contest, where performers strive to be the best director and win the affections of ... the Gorilla! Each performer takes their turn directing a scene, after which you, the audience, decide if you want to reward the director.... or punish them! A fully interactive show where emotions get primal!
www.edgeimprov.com
7pm Wellington Improv Troupe (NZ) presents To Be Continued
Will Colonel Black use the gamma-ray blaster on the drippy boyfriend, in the library? Will Gaylene ever find true love? Was the gorgeous dame on the level, or on the lam? Love or murder? It’s YOUR choice. Would you like to see a thrilling suspense, a romantic comedy, a sci-fi adventure, a whodunit, musical or film noir? Come along and call the shots, to see who wins / lives / gets the girl / dies / rides off into the sunset / or sings.
www.wit.org.nz
8.30pm Rebecca De Unamuno is...Open to Suggestion
Rebecca is a regular on Australian television – featuring in “The Chaser’s War on Everything”, “Kath and Kim”, ‘CNNNNN”, “The Glass House”, “Joker Poker”, “Stand Up Australia” and many more. This show "Open to Suggestion" was a Moosehead Award recipient at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.
"De Unamuno's exquisite talent for creating characters on the spot, as well as a narrative to sustain them, is something to see." – Daniel Ziffer, The Age 2005
10pm The Crew (Melbourne) presents Instant Musical Odyssey
Australia's longest running and most successful weekly impro group 'The Crew' present their SELL-OUT 2006 Melbourne Comedy Festival show 'INSTANT MUSICAL Odyssey'.
A whole show of musical, improvised madness where audience suggestions are taken and hammered into a cogent narrative by 'The Crew'. Be amazed, be amused, sit in stunned disbelief as you choose the characters and 'The Crew' do the rest.
www.thecrew.com.au
Sunday 24th June
6pm Twisted Melon (Sydney) presents Blank...The Musical
After a wildly successful debut run of sold-out shows at Coogee Arts Festival, the inaugural Twisted Melon Impro Festival, and Cracker Comedy Festival, Blank...The Musical hits BrizImprovFest. Gasp in awe as improvisers perform a Broadway-style musical inspired solely on the BLANK filled in the audience. It’s a show with all the melody, harmony, fun and feeling of a regular stage musical - sans script and score.
7.30pm Impro Mafia (Brisbane) presents Iron Improvisor - Best of the Fest
See your favourite performers from across the entire festival battle it out together in a contest of wit and skill to earn the right to be crowned an Iron Improviser! Let the Tournament Begin! A glorious spectacle, “Best of the Fest” promises to be an action-packed way end your weekend.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Here comes the story of the Paris-cane
Oh my. Check this out.
Bear in mind also that she's due to be released in under a WEEK!
ATTENTION ALL FANS AND SUPPORTERS OF PARIS HILTON:
A silent and PEACEFUL protest has been scheduled to take place on TUESDAY, June 19, 2007 at 1PM Pacific Time in front of Century Regional Detention Facility on Alameda Street in Lynwood, CA where Paris Hilton currently resides in the custody of the County. The protest will consist of fans and supporters standing in solidarity to show Paris that we stand behind her through this very rough period that she is currently experiencing.
There is a 3 dollar parking charge for those who are driving to Lynwood for the protest. People who are planning to take part should bring water or the non-alcoholic beverage of their choice and any supportive signs, shirts, etc. This will be a peaceful protest, playing Paris Hilton's music and walking and talking.
Some signs can be created and exhibited and all Free Paris T-shirts (professional or homemade) can be brought to the protest by participants. We are trying to organize about 200 T-shirts to provide. The best FREE PARIS T-shirt will be honored.
Scheduled to attend this peaceful protest are cast members from "The Simple Life", many Fox and E! network executives, as well as many fans and friends of Paris Hilton.
Thank you for your support and we hope to see you there!
Free Paris!
You may verify this info by contacting Ms. Hilton's
management team.
Oh please.
Everyone sing it with me:
"Here comes the story of the Paris-cane,
Blew everyone then came her day of shame,
For several things she'd actually done,
Put in a prison cell, but one time she coulda been...
The champion of the woooooorrrrrld!"
Finally, people are united across the world in their fight against injustice. Woot.
(Oh and to quote Homer Simpson: "By the way, I was being sarcastic.")
Bear in mind also that she's due to be released in under a WEEK!
ATTENTION ALL FANS AND SUPPORTERS OF PARIS HILTON:
A silent and PEACEFUL protest has been scheduled to take place on TUESDAY, June 19, 2007 at 1PM Pacific Time in front of Century Regional Detention Facility on Alameda Street in Lynwood, CA where Paris Hilton currently resides in the custody of the County. The protest will consist of fans and supporters standing in solidarity to show Paris that we stand behind her through this very rough period that she is currently experiencing.
There is a 3 dollar parking charge for those who are driving to Lynwood for the protest. People who are planning to take part should bring water or the non-alcoholic beverage of their choice and any supportive signs, shirts, etc. This will be a peaceful protest, playing Paris Hilton's music and walking and talking.
Some signs can be created and exhibited and all Free Paris T-shirts (professional or homemade) can be brought to the protest by participants. We are trying to organize about 200 T-shirts to provide. The best FREE PARIS T-shirt will be honored.
Scheduled to attend this peaceful protest are cast members from "The Simple Life", many Fox and E! network executives, as well as many fans and friends of Paris Hilton.
Thank you for your support and we hope to see you there!
Free Paris!
You may verify this info by contacting Ms. Hilton's
management team.
Oh please.
Everyone sing it with me:
"Here comes the story of the Paris-cane,
Blew everyone then came her day of shame,
For several things she'd actually done,
Put in a prison cell, but one time she coulda been...
The champion of the woooooorrrrrld!"
Finally, people are united across the world in their fight against injustice. Woot.
(Oh and to quote Homer Simpson: "By the way, I was being sarcastic.")
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Podcast interview and Self Indulgent snippet
A few things online as of late that you may care to check out:
- a podcast interview on The Big Weird Podcast; and
- a snippet from my Jenny Wynter is: SELF INDULGENT show, below.
Enjoy!
- a podcast interview on The Big Weird Podcast; and
- a snippet from my Jenny Wynter is: SELF INDULGENT show, below.
Enjoy!
Sunday, June 17, 2007
AAAAAGHH!
This is me freaking out. Just a little bit.
I am:
a) a little bit sick;
b) trying to tweak and rehearse my full-length show in preparation for Friday's BrizImprovFest, having found out only a few days ago that my musical MC Matty is unable to make it now due to a better paid gig;
c) realising that it's only 5 weeks now til I hop on that plane to Canada, sans awaiting job, sans awaiting accommodation, sans awaiting massive bank balance.
I read a sign the other day outside a church that said "Prayer is asking for rain, Faith is putting up your umbrella."
Our umbrella's up alright, but the hands holding it are shaking.
What's that called?
I am:
a) a little bit sick;
b) trying to tweak and rehearse my full-length show in preparation for Friday's BrizImprovFest, having found out only a few days ago that my musical MC Matty is unable to make it now due to a better paid gig;
c) realising that it's only 5 weeks now til I hop on that plane to Canada, sans awaiting job, sans awaiting accommodation, sans awaiting massive bank balance.
I read a sign the other day outside a church that said "Prayer is asking for rain, Faith is putting up your umbrella."
Our umbrella's up alright, but the hands holding it are shaking.
What's that called?
Friday, June 15, 2007
A happy closing credits sequence...if you cut it early enough
Warning: complete and utter sickly sweetness ahead. Proceed with caution.
We all need happy endings sometimes. Well, I guess I can only speak for myself, but I've certainly been craving one lately. You see, Ella and I have been struggling with each other recently, a lot. I've basically surmised that two strong-willed, over-the-top and super-stubborn ladies of the house = Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers.
But last night, we finally reached the happy closing credit sequence of our day.
Ella: "Can you please pat me to sleep, Mummy?"
Me: "Sure."
Ella: "I just can't get to sleep by myself."
Me: "Yes you can, you just have to believe you can. You can do anything if you believe you can."
Ella: "Really?"
Me: "Really. It's all about believing. You made me believe again. Cos you're the best thing that ever happened in my entire life, better than anything. Because you're the best chick in the whole world and I'm so so lucky because I'm the one who gets to be your mummy."
*Note: I realise this conversation is infringeing upon Oprah territory, but do bear with me, it gets better. Not less schmaltzy, but better.
Ella: "Oh."
She looked at me for a full minute, stroked a hand through my hair and then said to me the most beautiful thing I think I've ever heard:
Ella: "I want to say all the same things that you just said to me, but make them about you."
Be still my beating womb.
It's so nice to think that Hallmark moments like this actually can exist.
It's not so nice to realise that you can inadvertently destroy those Hallmark moments in the flutter of an eyelid.
Note to y'all: don't ever, EVER try to seize your newfound mother/daughter intimacy as an opportunity to delve into deeper issues (i.e. talk about why your daughter has been acting up lately). It really kills the whole 'I love you and you're so awesome' atmosphere and replaces it with a 'I now feel insecure and wish I was being patted to sleep with a steaming dog turd instead of you' one.
With just one question: "Do you want to talk about why you've been talking meanly?" I somehow took our conversation from the highs of a telemovie of the week, to the lows of...well, a telemovie of the week. What followed was an hour of Ella bawling her eyes out, then proclaiming that she wasn't upset because she thought she was in trouble, but was upset because she missed little Simon, her newborn cousin.
Mamma Mia.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why they never show you what happens just after the closing credits. Just so you know.
We all need happy endings sometimes. Well, I guess I can only speak for myself, but I've certainly been craving one lately. You see, Ella and I have been struggling with each other recently, a lot. I've basically surmised that two strong-willed, over-the-top and super-stubborn ladies of the house = Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers.
But last night, we finally reached the happy closing credit sequence of our day.
Ella: "Can you please pat me to sleep, Mummy?"
Me: "Sure."
Ella: "I just can't get to sleep by myself."
Me: "Yes you can, you just have to believe you can. You can do anything if you believe you can."
Ella: "Really?"
Me: "Really. It's all about believing. You made me believe again. Cos you're the best thing that ever happened in my entire life, better than anything. Because you're the best chick in the whole world and I'm so so lucky because I'm the one who gets to be your mummy."
*Note: I realise this conversation is infringeing upon Oprah territory, but do bear with me, it gets better. Not less schmaltzy, but better.
Ella: "Oh."
She looked at me for a full minute, stroked a hand through my hair and then said to me the most beautiful thing I think I've ever heard:
Ella: "I want to say all the same things that you just said to me, but make them about you."
Be still my beating womb.
It's so nice to think that Hallmark moments like this actually can exist.
It's not so nice to realise that you can inadvertently destroy those Hallmark moments in the flutter of an eyelid.
Note to y'all: don't ever, EVER try to seize your newfound mother/daughter intimacy as an opportunity to delve into deeper issues (i.e. talk about why your daughter has been acting up lately). It really kills the whole 'I love you and you're so awesome' atmosphere and replaces it with a 'I now feel insecure and wish I was being patted to sleep with a steaming dog turd instead of you' one.
With just one question: "Do you want to talk about why you've been talking meanly?" I somehow took our conversation from the highs of a telemovie of the week, to the lows of...well, a telemovie of the week. What followed was an hour of Ella bawling her eyes out, then proclaiming that she wasn't upset because she thought she was in trouble, but was upset because she missed little Simon, her newborn cousin.
Mamma Mia.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why they never show you what happens just after the closing credits. Just so you know.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Announcing a landmark
My first ever official fan-mail: tee hee.
Hi Jenny, May I first say how much I enjoy your work, I heard a bit of your "act" and I became a fan straight away, you're hilarious! I watched all of the clips on your site and Myspace and I laughed so much that it almost hurt, you're brilliant!
I have sent you this e-mail to therefore ask if it was possible for me to have your autograph, as I collect autographs of comedians that I like, so if you could send me one, I would be very grateful, thanks.
I would come along to one of your live shows and ask you in person, but as I live in the middle of nowhere in Britain, it's fairly unlikely that I'll get the chance, ha ha.
Anyway, I just thought I would ask, and also say how much I enjoy your work, I look forward to hearing back from you, but until then take care, keep up the good work, bye for now,
Vince C.
I just have to record that for posterity (translation = my ego)'s sake.
Hi Jenny, May I first say how much I enjoy your work, I heard a bit of your "act" and I became a fan straight away, you're hilarious! I watched all of the clips on your site and Myspace and I laughed so much that it almost hurt, you're brilliant!
I have sent you this e-mail to therefore ask if it was possible for me to have your autograph, as I collect autographs of comedians that I like, so if you could send me one, I would be very grateful, thanks.
I would come along to one of your live shows and ask you in person, but as I live in the middle of nowhere in Britain, it's fairly unlikely that I'll get the chance, ha ha.
Anyway, I just thought I would ask, and also say how much I enjoy your work, I look forward to hearing back from you, but until then take care, keep up the good work, bye for now,
Vince C.
I just have to record that for posterity (translation = my ego)'s sake.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Cleaning it Up
After supporting him at the Sit Down Comedy Club the other night, the lovely Anh Do (of Fat Pizza, The Footy Show and other fame) gave me one of the best compliments of my life. Seriously, I got all hot in the face and everything.
He then followed it with this.
Ahn: "I don't usually give comics advice, but can I give you some?"
Me: "Absolutely!"
Ahn: "I know I swore a bit tonight, but let me tell you that if you can get all the swearing out of your act, just clean the whole thing up, you'll be on television in no time."
Very serendipidous that the very following night I was headlining a 'Clean Comedy' night, and thus had to scrub and launder 40 minutes of stuff in preparation. I mean, as far as comedians go I'm pretty clean, but it's certainly not spotless. But I've now decided to make more of a conscious effort to head that way.
Interesting times.
Oh Napisan man, where are you when I need you?
He then followed it with this.
Ahn: "I don't usually give comics advice, but can I give you some?"
Me: "Absolutely!"
Ahn: "I know I swore a bit tonight, but let me tell you that if you can get all the swearing out of your act, just clean the whole thing up, you'll be on television in no time."
Very serendipidous that the very following night I was headlining a 'Clean Comedy' night, and thus had to scrub and launder 40 minutes of stuff in preparation. I mean, as far as comedians go I'm pretty clean, but it's certainly not spotless. But I've now decided to make more of a conscious effort to head that way.
Interesting times.
Oh Napisan man, where are you when I need you?
Monday, June 11, 2007
"I misshhed you mummy."
That's what my little Cay-dude said to me tonight as I stroked his hair, waiting for him (impatiently, I'm ashamed to admit) to fall asleep.
I'd only been away a couple of hours, but his words still managed to make me squirm.
"Oh," I said. "I missed you too."
And then I felt sick. Cos I finally let it descend on me - the truth that in just over a month, I'll be heading off overseas for the second time without my kids. And how horrible that feels.
I didn't write much about it in my American blogs last year, cos quite frankly I was having a hard enough time just getting on with the trip that I didn't want to stir it up more by writing about it.
But right here, right now I feel like I just need to acknowledge the simple truth: that being on the other side of the globe from my kids felt WRONG. I hated it. I bawled daily (sometimes multiple times, leading to a paranoia that my wonderful mentor Daena would think all Australians were hyper-emotional train-wrecks) and hated that too. But then finally, about halfway through the trip (that halfway point where you're actually moving towards home), I forced myself to snap out of it and not waste the amazingness of the opportunity by being seduced by sadness.
So I did end up having an absolutely rocking time in the States, there's no doubt about it and I certainly don't regret it. It's just that it was definitely flavoured with a shocking depth of missing my kids, so now I can't help but approach the first portion of our new life in Canada - in which i will be flying solo in Calgary, training at the awesome Loose Moose for two weeks - with excitement tainted with dread.
On the upside, Caleb is talking much better (and longer) these days, so our phone conversations might be better.
*reflecting on last time)
Me: "Caleb! Hello! What have you been doing?"
Him: "BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRR!!! MAMA!!!"
I guess the only way is up...
*imagining this time*
Me: "Caleb! Hello! What have you been doing?"
Him: "Oh mummy deareth, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways..."
I'd only been away a couple of hours, but his words still managed to make me squirm.
"Oh," I said. "I missed you too."
And then I felt sick. Cos I finally let it descend on me - the truth that in just over a month, I'll be heading off overseas for the second time without my kids. And how horrible that feels.
I didn't write much about it in my American blogs last year, cos quite frankly I was having a hard enough time just getting on with the trip that I didn't want to stir it up more by writing about it.
But right here, right now I feel like I just need to acknowledge the simple truth: that being on the other side of the globe from my kids felt WRONG. I hated it. I bawled daily (sometimes multiple times, leading to a paranoia that my wonderful mentor Daena would think all Australians were hyper-emotional train-wrecks) and hated that too. But then finally, about halfway through the trip (that halfway point where you're actually moving towards home), I forced myself to snap out of it and not waste the amazingness of the opportunity by being seduced by sadness.
So I did end up having an absolutely rocking time in the States, there's no doubt about it and I certainly don't regret it. It's just that it was definitely flavoured with a shocking depth of missing my kids, so now I can't help but approach the first portion of our new life in Canada - in which i will be flying solo in Calgary, training at the awesome Loose Moose for two weeks - with excitement tainted with dread.
On the upside, Caleb is talking much better (and longer) these days, so our phone conversations might be better.
*reflecting on last time)
Me: "Caleb! Hello! What have you been doing?"
Him: "BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRR!!! MAMA!!!"
I guess the only way is up...
*imagining this time*
Me: "Caleb! Hello! What have you been doing?"
Him: "Oh mummy deareth, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways..."
BrizImprovFest is coming!!!
Check it out.No seriously: I'm so super excited about this, cos we've got the cream of the Aussie improv crop including:
The Crew from Melbourne (as well as some dudes from Impro Melbourne);
Twisted Melon from Sydney;
Rebecca de Unamuno (of Comedy Inc, The Glass House, Kath and Kim and other fame - seriously one of the most amazing improvisers in Australia);
WIT all the way from Wellington New Zealand;
Local awesomeness from ImproMafia, Edge Improv and Improactive;
The special revised version of my solo show Jenny Wynter is: SELF INDULGENT
...plus workshops, partying and other special guests from as far away as the USA and Canada.
To check out the details: www.brizimprovfest.com
To book your tix (which by the way, you should DEFINITELY do for this one, as the Studio at Metro Arts only seats 100 people): www.oztix.com.au
At the risk of quoting 90's Brit-pop bands: "WOHOO!"
Friday, June 08, 2007
Paris released from jail
Attention all prisoners:Let this be a lesson to y'all. To receive 'fair and professional' treatment (translation = swapping your claustrophobic cell for your sprawling Hollywood mansion) after serving only 72 hours (translation = 5 days if you arrive after sunset and leave just after dawn), all you need is love.
Oh no, hang on, that was a song.
Let me try again...all you need is a rash.
A hefty account balance probably doesn't hurt either, but don't be disheartened! Start with the rash (if you're really organised you can probably just sleep with everything in the years leading up to your arrest to maximise your chances of a break-out - no pun intended - at any given time) and take it from there.
How exciting for you!
(Yet how devastating for the writers of Prison Break. All the effort to create a dramatic, yet plausible storyline, when all the characters ever needed to do in the first place was contract a nasty case of herpes.)
Get scratching, inmates!
Thursday, June 07, 2007
In Urgent Breaking News
This just in.
Caleb: Mummy, can I go outside?
Me: No honey, it's too cold and wet out there.
He runs outside.
Me: Cay! Cay? Come inside please.
He keeps running, down the stairs and under the house to the dog poo covered lawn (don't blame me, it's not our dog.)
Me: Cay! Upstairs please!
Him: No!
He starts playing with his little taxi cab, kneeling his way across the lawn. He comes to a stop right next to a particularly fresh pile of turds.
Me: Please Cay, come upstairs right now before you get covered in dog poo.
Him: What?
He looks up at me, overbalances and falls directly onto the pile of foulness. That's right, DIRECTLY onto/into it.
Me: AHAHAHAHAHA! (not said in a laughing way, in a mock crying way).
I run inside, hold my head in my hands and start blogging the pain away.
Caleb: Mummy, can I go outside?
Me: No honey, it's too cold and wet out there.
He runs outside.
Me: Cay! Cay? Come inside please.
He keeps running, down the stairs and under the house to the dog poo covered lawn (don't blame me, it's not our dog.)
Me: Cay! Upstairs please!
Him: No!
He starts playing with his little taxi cab, kneeling his way across the lawn. He comes to a stop right next to a particularly fresh pile of turds.
Me: Please Cay, come upstairs right now before you get covered in dog poo.
Him: What?
He looks up at me, overbalances and falls directly onto the pile of foulness. That's right, DIRECTLY onto/into it.
Me: AHAHAHAHAHA! (not said in a laughing way, in a mock crying way).
I run inside, hold my head in my hands and start blogging the pain away.
A Thinking Blogger, apparently!
Okay, so the fabulous and original CM reader rnbuffoon has nominated me for a Thinking Blogger award. Thanks honey!! I'm only sorry it's taken my slack sorry buttocks this long to respond. Ah me. The late queen. Though given that in this case the 'late' does not indicate pregnancy, I'm actually kinda happy with that.
Anyway, here's the deal:
1. If, and only if, you get chosen, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think.
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.
3. Optional: Proudly display the Thinking Blogger Award.
My main question is can you nominate people who have already been nominated? I'm sure that defeats the purpose, but if I'm to write an honest list of blogs that make me think, then it's worth asking. I don't expect an answer, by the way, but it's a nice question.
1. Me Myself Eye - (and no, this isn't just a mutual back-slapping session, before you ask). This blog makes me think without a doubt - about lots of stuff, but specifically how I wish I had the guts to be this honest in my writing.
2. Gempires - Personal ponderings and poetry. Sometimes a bit of both. And though we've only met a couple of times in the flesh, I heart her deeply.
3. Legless in Perpetuum - Makes me laugh as well as look at things from a different point of view. I wish I could be more articulate about it. But apparently not right now. Good blog, good blog, y'all!
4. RockstarMommy - For the same 'honesty' thing as outlined above. I feel like I censor myself WAAAAY to much around here. :-(
5. GirlClumsy - Originally it made me think 'how is there a blogging improvising chick from Brisbane that I haven't met yet?' Now it makes me think about much more than that - from travelling around Russia to sit-com like personal hiccups at press conferences. :-)
There's a ton more blogs that make me think too, but I was limited to five, so that's the way it is.
Congrats everybody!!! Now please...don't take as long as I did to accept my award, or no doubt the telecast will be over before you've stepped up to the podium.
Anyway, here's the deal:
1. If, and only if, you get chosen, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think.
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.
3. Optional: Proudly display the Thinking Blogger Award.
My main question is can you nominate people who have already been nominated? I'm sure that defeats the purpose, but if I'm to write an honest list of blogs that make me think, then it's worth asking. I don't expect an answer, by the way, but it's a nice question.
1. Me Myself Eye - (and no, this isn't just a mutual back-slapping session, before you ask). This blog makes me think without a doubt - about lots of stuff, but specifically how I wish I had the guts to be this honest in my writing.
2. Gempires - Personal ponderings and poetry. Sometimes a bit of both. And though we've only met a couple of times in the flesh, I heart her deeply.
3. Legless in Perpetuum - Makes me laugh as well as look at things from a different point of view. I wish I could be more articulate about it. But apparently not right now. Good blog, good blog, y'all!
4. RockstarMommy - For the same 'honesty' thing as outlined above. I feel like I censor myself WAAAAY to much around here. :-(
5. GirlClumsy - Originally it made me think 'how is there a blogging improvising chick from Brisbane that I haven't met yet?' Now it makes me think about much more than that - from travelling around Russia to sit-com like personal hiccups at press conferences. :-)
There's a ton more blogs that make me think too, but I was limited to five, so that's the way it is.
Congrats everybody!!! Now please...don't take as long as I did to accept my award, or no doubt the telecast will be over before you've stepped up to the podium.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
When positive reinforcement goes wrong
Me: Oh Caleb. You're a good boy, aren't you?
Him: I not a good boy.
Me: What do you mean? Yes you are! You're a really good boy!
Him: I NOT A GOOD BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Oh.
Thoughtful pause.
Me: Well, what are you then?
A second thoughtful pause.
Him: I Superman!
***
I really must send an update notification to the dudettes behind "What To Expect When You're Expecting."
Him: I not a good boy.
Me: What do you mean? Yes you are! You're a really good boy!
Him: I NOT A GOOD BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Oh.
Thoughtful pause.
Me: Well, what are you then?
A second thoughtful pause.
Him: I Superman!
***
I really must send an update notification to the dudettes behind "What To Expect When You're Expecting."
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Happy Everything!
Happy 40th Birthday Viv!
Happy Baby Showers Anne and Liz!
Happy Birthday Jenna Eve! (our little cousin of goodness, pictured)
And Happy New Van Battery to Us!!!
*clink clink clink*
Friday, June 01, 2007
To all the friends I’ve never met before
...who ARE you?
Seriously? Apart from a sizeable handful of gems (you know who you are!) I have absolutely no idea who reads this blog - though I know where you live - *said in a very un-stalkerly tone of voice* and it's lately started to bug me a bit. Not in a bad way, just in a 'I'm writing these little letters to penfriends who I don't even know and now not only is my curiosity getting the better of me, but it freaks me out a little bit to realise that I probably communicate more with you guys through this blog than I communicate with my IRL friends yet I hardly know you and I really want to fix that!' kinda way.
You know. That kinda bugging.
Anyway, I read on Rockstar Mommy a couple of months ago that it was apparently 'National Delurker Day' i.e. that people who regularly checked out the blog but didn't comment had to delurk and post something. Anyone could do it on their blog, but I didn't really think to take up the day's offering, namely cos I didn't really think I had regular lurkers anyway. But then lately I've realised that you are out there! And don't take this the wrong way, but I feel like we've been at the same party for a while, seen each other around but I don't actually have a clue who you are.
So...*joyous hug/appropriate kiss/respectful handshake/mutual hip bang*
HI!!!!
And now, seriously:
Who are YOU?
Seriously? Apart from a sizeable handful of gems (you know who you are!) I have absolutely no idea who reads this blog - though I know where you live - *said in a very un-stalkerly tone of voice* and it's lately started to bug me a bit. Not in a bad way, just in a 'I'm writing these little letters to penfriends who I don't even know and now not only is my curiosity getting the better of me, but it freaks me out a little bit to realise that I probably communicate more with you guys through this blog than I communicate with my IRL friends yet I hardly know you and I really want to fix that!' kinda way.
You know. That kinda bugging.
Anyway, I read on Rockstar Mommy a couple of months ago that it was apparently 'National Delurker Day' i.e. that people who regularly checked out the blog but didn't comment had to delurk and post something. Anyone could do it on their blog, but I didn't really think to take up the day's offering, namely cos I didn't really think I had regular lurkers anyway. But then lately I've realised that you are out there! And don't take this the wrong way, but I feel like we've been at the same party for a while, seen each other around but I don't actually have a clue who you are.
So...*joyous hug/appropriate kiss/respectful handshake/mutual hip bang*
HI!!!!
And now, seriously:
Who are YOU?
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