Thursday, June 28, 2007

Warning: kryptic content within

Sorry for the lack of entries of late. I think I'm just a bit over myself lately.

Basically my mind has been quite preoccupied of late with some personal stuff, particularly on the topic of balancing family and this crazy industry called showbiz.

Those long-term CM readers may recall how last year I completely freaked out about not being able to manage both and decided to take a break from performing for a while, only to a week or so later receive news of being awarded a sizeable portion of cash from Brisbane City Council to go do comedy stuff in the USA. Since then, things have really started to kick off on the career front, which has been fabulous. However...the past couple of weeks I've pretty much come full circle and realised that while career-wise I'm in a very cool place right now, emotionally, I'm pretty much stuck in the same spot and faced with the same dilemma as I was way back then: when my family life is going well, it's usually cos the performing stuff is in downtime, and when my career stuff is kicking buttocks, my family life suffers.

And so I find myself questioning what I thought was my core belief: that you could have it all if you only had the guts to go for it. Now I'm honestly thinking that's a lie. You have to make choices and they're not always ones you want to make.

It's really made me reassess this whole Canada trip in terms of designing it so that it's not just a wicked career opportunity for me but an even more wicked family opportunity for all of us - to have an adventure together, do stuff that will be exciting and wonderful for everybody and to allow us the breathing space to reconnect and work together as a team.

Anyway, these are just random thoughts to keep you in the loop. Perhaps I'd best put my money where my mouth is, stop blogging this minute and go pull my kids off the chandeliers. Adieu.

6 comments:

Sara-Lee said...

Hi CM,
It is a hard balancing act. While it is great to have a stellar career, you don't want to be finding out your kids have suddenly turned 21.
As long as you keep it in perspective, you can have both, it just means they wont happen instantly. Think of how many people you know have been working the scene for years, to suddenly become an overnight success.

Miss Construed... said...

Life huh?

It was meant to be easy!

If anyone can do both I reckon its you!

Sharpie said...

As a WAHM that works more than Moms - I can tell you IT IS HARD. The feeling of sucking at all jobs - work, mom and wife - only make it harder. Add to that I started teaching a few classes at an art college AND started picking away at my Master's Degree - yeah - you get the picture.

My way of coping - tell myself over and over that I AM ALLOWED to have a life too. Just because I brought children into the world DOES NOT MEAN I no longer exist. My children will be (as will yours) way more well-adjusted to the real world where people WORK and have lives that do not solely revolve around them and patience - cuz damn it - sometimes you have to WAIT!

*off soap box now*

Anonymous said...

You are the most inspirational, stong, talented, open-hearted, honest person.
I think the fact that you constantly think about these things and reacess things will means your on the right track to getting everything as even as possible.

Anonymous said...

I agree with anonymous!

Jenny Wynter said...

Oh you guys........

:-)

Sara-Lee - yeah, I think I remember an Oprah episode where she said something like 'you can have it all, just not all at once.' Unfortunately 'I want it all' is my theme song.

rn_buffoon - thank you honey. x

Sharpie - wow, you obviously completely get it. I couldn't agree more about giving them a better perspective on life (I've always thought it's better for kids to have a mother with her own life and the benefit of realising that not everything is about them) but it does really bug me when I feel like I take that line of thinking too far and end up JUST focusing on myself. AGH! And you look just fine on the soapbox.

Anons 1 & 2 - wow, thank you. That's just...wow. :-)