Yes, it's FINALLY happening! WOOHOO!
(Sorry bout the overuse of caps in this entry - but yes, I really am THAT excited.)
Okay, so if you're Brissie based, pencil it in your diaries. And if you're not Brissie based, pencil it in your diaries too. That way you can keep track of when to send good vibes, slam your hand into the wall or exercise your indifference. Or who knows? Maybe a wacky combination of all three.
Sunday 27th May @ 6.30pm
Offical Launch of BrizImprov Fest at Uber!!!
What: Improv presented by Impromafia, followed by a preview of my one-woman musical/character/improv/comedy variety show, aptly titled
Jenny Wynter is: SELF INDULGENT.
Friday 22nd May - time TBA
Opening Night: BrizImprovFest @ Metro Arts (the full fest runs from June 22-24)
This is going to be Queensland's first ever festival of improvised performance - it is seriously going to rock the city to its core. I know I'll be steering clear of the Story Bridge for a good week afterwards.
My show's on the first night and will be the final opportunity to check out my show in Brisvegas before the land of the Canadians beckons. Well, to be completely accurate, it's been beckoning for a while. How bout, 'before Canada and I consumate our attraction.'
*Note to self: don't refer the Customs Officers to your blog.
Tix are going on sale soon for both shows, I think you can even book online and everything. How uncharacteristically tech-savvy! Anyway, I'll post more details when they come to hand.
In other news, I've been thinking of the best ways I can prepare myself for the terrifying reality in my future known as freezing cold. I've heard that it can be so bad, you walk outside and the water in your eyes actually freezes over. Holy baby-yak. My irises? A skating rink for Canadian mosquitoes? No thank you.
Anyway, here's my plan thus far:
1. Replace my morning cup of coffee with a morning cup of ice-blocks.
2. Every time I feel myself losing my temper with the kids, sticking my head in the freezer for a couple of minutes. My own sub-zero time-out.
3. Going to bed in the pool.
These are but a few of my ideas. Yours?
Monday, April 30, 2007
Here's Lookin' At You, Kid
Given the last week of home-bounded-ness, I'm sorry to say that the kids have been watching WAAAAAY to many DVDs. I'm serious: it's bad. Caleb's conversation is now predominantly sound-bytes from his favourites.
Me: "Caleb, you can't have another milk cos it makes you too snotty."
Caleb: "No it doesn't. *dramatic pause* Trust me." (Spiderman)
***
Me (uncharacteristically calmly): "Ella, stop yelling, stop screaming and go to bed."
Caleb (patting my head): "I proud of you." (Racing Stripes)
***
Me: "Cay-man, time to go to the toilet!"
Caleb: "Not this time, Goblin!" (Spiderman...again).
***
Please remind me to never ever show him Silence of the Lambs.
Me: "Caleb, you can't have another milk cos it makes you too snotty."
Caleb: "No it doesn't. *dramatic pause* Trust me." (Spiderman)
***
Me (uncharacteristically calmly): "Ella, stop yelling, stop screaming and go to bed."
Caleb (patting my head): "I proud of you." (Racing Stripes)
***
Me: "Cay-man, time to go to the toilet!"
Caleb: "Not this time, Goblin!" (Spiderman...again).
***
Please remind me to never ever show him Silence of the Lambs.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Humanity boiled down into toddlerdom
I feel like the whole 'why is the world in such a crazy state?' question was finally answered this morning.
I present to you, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, a 2-year-old boy:
Me: "Why do you throw things?"
Caleb: "YEAH! I throw! I superhero!"
Me: "Yeah, I know, but why do you do it?"
Caleb: "Cos...cos...cos...I do. I like it!"
Me: "Hmmmm. But when you throw things, you break them."
Caleb: "Yeah! Break them! I like breaking them!"
Me: "Errrrrrr....yes, but then when you break them, you don't get to play with them anymore, do you?"
Caleb: "Huh?"
Me: "They have to go in the bin."
Caleb: "Yeah, I know dat."
Me: "So why do you break them, then?"
Caleb: "BECAUSE!!!!!!!!!! I do!"
I present to you, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, a 2-year-old boy:
Me: "Why do you throw things?"
Caleb: "YEAH! I throw! I superhero!"
Me: "Yeah, I know, but why do you do it?"
Caleb: "Cos...cos...cos...I do. I like it!"
Me: "Hmmmm. But when you throw things, you break them."
Caleb: "Yeah! Break them! I like breaking them!"
Me: "Errrrrrr....yes, but then when you break them, you don't get to play with them anymore, do you?"
Caleb: "Huh?"
Me: "They have to go in the bin."
Caleb: "Yeah, I know dat."
Me: "So why do you break them, then?"
Caleb: "BECAUSE!!!!!!!!!! I do!"
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Why Are People So Unkind?
The other day I was reading some pretty nasty blog comments about some of the comedians at this year's Melbourne International Comedy Festival - specifically the Gala - and I couldn't help but wonder: why are people so unkind?
It freaks me out - even comics who are revered in the industry and in the public (and in my own mind) as brilliant, are subject to a panning by any old monkey who has access to a computer.
I guess that's just another difference between a public job and a 'civilian' one, for want of a better word. If you're a fireman, a lawyer or a dishwasher at the local pub, no matter how pitifully you perform your job, even if you're the worst insert-occupation-here who has ever lived in the entire history of the universe, chances are that nobody's going to bother investing time and energy into humiliating and bagging the hell out of you for it.
But as soon as you're in the public eye, you are fair game. And the thing is, to warrant criticism in this occupation, you don't even have to completely suck: you just have to not be everybody's particular cup of tea.
And that's the thing about cups of tea - everybody prefers a different one. (As Akmal Saleh once said: "You won't ever be funny to everybody.") Meaning that all you have to do is step onto the stage, and you're 100% guaranteed right then and there that you're going to be upsetting/annoying/disappointing/not amusing somebody.
SCARY.
Anyway, I know I can't change this, but I do have a few things I'd like to say to some of the peopl who write the really nasty things (which, by the way, if you're actually reading this blog, what are you doing here? Begone ye fiends!) But not before you read this:
Firstly, just because a particular comic is not to your taste, does not mean that you have the right to request them to stop performing full-stop. Gees, if every performer used criticism as a denial of permission to step on stage, then the Comedy Gala would last exactly three minutes, all of which would be the community service announcements for OxFam. Efficient, but hardly entertaining.
Secondly, if you think all comedians suck so badly (and yes, somebody actually wrote words to that effect), then please, by all means...show them how it's done! Get off your computer, jump on stage with mic in hand and kill, kill, kill! If we need a messiah so badly, then why not make it you? I tend to think that those who can, do. While those who can't...bag the shit out of those who can.
And finally, for those who argue passionately and vehemently that women are not funny, I say only one thing:
I know rejection hurts, but there's no need to be bitter.
It freaks me out - even comics who are revered in the industry and in the public (and in my own mind) as brilliant, are subject to a panning by any old monkey who has access to a computer.
I guess that's just another difference between a public job and a 'civilian' one, for want of a better word. If you're a fireman, a lawyer or a dishwasher at the local pub, no matter how pitifully you perform your job, even if you're the worst insert-occupation-here who has ever lived in the entire history of the universe, chances are that nobody's going to bother investing time and energy into humiliating and bagging the hell out of you for it.
But as soon as you're in the public eye, you are fair game. And the thing is, to warrant criticism in this occupation, you don't even have to completely suck: you just have to not be everybody's particular cup of tea.
And that's the thing about cups of tea - everybody prefers a different one. (As Akmal Saleh once said: "You won't ever be funny to everybody.") Meaning that all you have to do is step onto the stage, and you're 100% guaranteed right then and there that you're going to be upsetting/annoying/disappointing/not amusing somebody.
SCARY.
Anyway, I know I can't change this, but I do have a few things I'd like to say to some of the peopl who write the really nasty things (which, by the way, if you're actually reading this blog, what are you doing here? Begone ye fiends!) But not before you read this:
Firstly, just because a particular comic is not to your taste, does not mean that you have the right to request them to stop performing full-stop. Gees, if every performer used criticism as a denial of permission to step on stage, then the Comedy Gala would last exactly three minutes, all of which would be the community service announcements for OxFam. Efficient, but hardly entertaining.
Secondly, if you think all comedians suck so badly (and yes, somebody actually wrote words to that effect), then please, by all means...show them how it's done! Get off your computer, jump on stage with mic in hand and kill, kill, kill! If we need a messiah so badly, then why not make it you? I tend to think that those who can, do. While those who can't...bag the shit out of those who can.
And finally, for those who argue passionately and vehemently that women are not funny, I say only one thing:
I know rejection hurts, but there's no need to be bitter.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Canada, NYC Comedy Fest and BrizImprovFest
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH.
That's me sighing, in case you can't tell. Not a bad sigh, a very very good sigh, 'relief's defacto', if you will. For today we are out at Tim's folks' place, way out in the country. And what a magical place it is. A place where kids - chickenpocked or not - can roam free, play with toys they haven't seen, watch videos they haven't watched and be spoiled rotten while I sip cups of tea and blog. Excuse me a minute, I just have to....
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH.
Okay, moving on.
All this peaceful un-stir-crazy time has made me realise that there's a few exciting tid-bits of news I have forgotten to blog about. Forgive me, I know not what I do. So, read on, and consider me redeemed.
1. We've booked our tickets to Canada. I leave July 24 and Tim and the kids leave August 12 (Ella's birthday - which will thus run for two days straight). AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!
2. I'm hoping to make it to the NYC Underground Comedy Festival in September, ideally to do my show.
3. This show is the same full-length show I'll be performing @ the upcoming BrizImprovFest, Brissie's first ever festival of improvised theatre. I'm coorganising it and we've already got confirmed shows and performers from Sydney, Melbourne and New Zealand. I am soooo completely nauseous with excitement that I have to stop every hour and reassure myself that I'm not pregnant.
Update: The launch of BrizImprovFest - which will feature a preview of my full-length show plus other wicked improv delights - is going to be held early evening on Sunday 27th May at Uber, Boundary Street, West End. Pencil it in now if you can come - it's going to be AMAZING!
There's probably more, but I must away: there's another cup of coffee on the stove with my name on it and I've got a sigh quota to fill.
That's me sighing, in case you can't tell. Not a bad sigh, a very very good sigh, 'relief's defacto', if you will. For today we are out at Tim's folks' place, way out in the country. And what a magical place it is. A place where kids - chickenpocked or not - can roam free, play with toys they haven't seen, watch videos they haven't watched and be spoiled rotten while I sip cups of tea and blog. Excuse me a minute, I just have to....
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH.
Okay, moving on.
All this peaceful un-stir-crazy time has made me realise that there's a few exciting tid-bits of news I have forgotten to blog about. Forgive me, I know not what I do. So, read on, and consider me redeemed.
1. We've booked our tickets to Canada. I leave July 24 and Tim and the kids leave August 12 (Ella's birthday - which will thus run for two days straight). AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!
2. I'm hoping to make it to the NYC Underground Comedy Festival in September, ideally to do my show.
3. This show is the same full-length show I'll be performing @ the upcoming BrizImprovFest, Brissie's first ever festival of improvised theatre. I'm coorganising it and we've already got confirmed shows and performers from Sydney, Melbourne and New Zealand. I am soooo completely nauseous with excitement that I have to stop every hour and reassure myself that I'm not pregnant.
Update: The launch of BrizImprovFest - which will feature a preview of my full-length show plus other wicked improv delights - is going to be held early evening on Sunday 27th May at Uber, Boundary Street, West End. Pencil it in now if you can come - it's going to be AMAZING!
There's probably more, but I must away: there's another cup of coffee on the stove with my name on it and I've got a sigh quota to fill.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Nimbin Marti-Grass!
Woohoo! I've been booked to perform at the comedy club at this year's Nimbin Marti-Grass, on 5th and 6th of May. Can't WAIT!
Oh and in my can't-leave-the-house state, look at what I've been reduced to: try it out if you like. It's actually kinda fun and a pretty safe bet seeing as all the descriptors are pretty positive. Just so long as you don't have a 'Q' in your name. Actually, now that I think about it, I have a friend called 'Q'. Yikes. I'll be staying away from her from now on...
J: Freakin rowdy (you'd better believe it)
E:Freakin beautiful eyes (are you trying to chat me up?)
N:One of the best bf/gf anyone could ask for (but to be fair, people don't really ask for much)
N:One of the best bf/gf anyone could ask for (uh, I heard you the first time)
Y: Loved by everybody (enough already, what do you want from me?!)
A: Gorgeous
B: Loves people
C: BEST SMILE
D: Has one of the best personalities ever
E: Freakin Beautiful eyes
F: People wild and crazy adore you
G: Never let people tell you what to do
H: Easy to fall in love with
I: loves to laugh
J: Freking Rowdy
K: Really silly
L: REALLY easy to fall in love with
M: makes anything fun
N: One of the best bf/gf anyone could ask for
O: Is a freak in bed
P: Popular with all types of people
Q: A hypocrite
R: great friend
S: Lives life for fun
T: GREAT kisser
U: gets blamed for everything
V: One of the best bf/gf anyone could ask for
W: Very broad minded
X: Never let people tell you what to do
Y: Loved by everybody
Z: Lives life for fun
Oh and in my can't-leave-the-house state, look at what I've been reduced to: try it out if you like. It's actually kinda fun and a pretty safe bet seeing as all the descriptors are pretty positive. Just so long as you don't have a 'Q' in your name. Actually, now that I think about it, I have a friend called 'Q'. Yikes. I'll be staying away from her from now on...
J: Freakin rowdy (you'd better believe it)
E:Freakin beautiful eyes (are you trying to chat me up?)
N:One of the best bf/gf anyone could ask for (but to be fair, people don't really ask for much)
N:One of the best bf/gf anyone could ask for (uh, I heard you the first time)
Y: Loved by everybody (enough already, what do you want from me?!)
A: Gorgeous
B: Loves people
C: BEST SMILE
D: Has one of the best personalities ever
E: Freakin Beautiful eyes
F: People wild and crazy adore you
G: Never let people tell you what to do
H: Easy to fall in love with
I: loves to laugh
J: Freking Rowdy
K: Really silly
L: REALLY easy to fall in love with
M: makes anything fun
N: One of the best bf/gf anyone could ask for
O: Is a freak in bed
P: Popular with all types of people
Q: A hypocrite
R: great friend
S: Lives life for fun
T: GREAT kisser
U: gets blamed for everything
V: One of the best bf/gf anyone could ask for
W: Very broad minded
X: Never let people tell you what to do
Y: Loved by everybody
Z: Lives life for fun
Monday, April 23, 2007
I'm losing my mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: I swear, being stuck in here with two overly energetic kids is killing me.
You: Access to martyrdom: granted.
Me: Why thank you.
***
I swear, it's like The Shining in here. Except with vegemite jars instead of axes.
Either way, I guess it's all good training for life in Canada.
Brrrrrrrrrr.......
You: Access to martyrdom: granted.
Me: Why thank you.
***
I swear, it's like The Shining in here. Except with vegemite jars instead of axes.
Either way, I guess it's all good training for life in Canada.
Brrrrrrrrrr.......
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Housebound
My poor little mouse.
She was up a lot of last night, trying hard not to scratch herself but going crazy from the whole thing. But we have had progress. For instance:
- Ella has decided that the novelty of getting lots of attention for her condition has worn off.
- I have introduced her to Astro Boy.
- I have now progressed from dabbing her individual 'pocks' (as I like to call them) with calamine lotion, to just painting stripes of it over her entire body. At this rate, by tomorrow morning I'll just have a bucket of the stuff on hand to tip straight over her head.
I'm still coming to terms with being 100% housebound for at least the next week. And I'm torn between wanting Caleb to catch it to just get the whole thing over and done with, and wanting to delay the nightmare of convincing a not-yet-3-year-old not to scratch his insanely itching body.
Given that I can barely talk him into prying off his Superman suit - even when it's covered in last Thursday's pumpkin soup - trying to battle the right and wrong way to handle a flesh-eating disorder (hey, don't accuse me of melodrama, I'm getting cabin fever in here!) is not my idea of a rock'n'roll time.
Ah me.
At least Big Brother has just started. Oh no. Did I really just write that?
*banging head against wall*
She was up a lot of last night, trying hard not to scratch herself but going crazy from the whole thing. But we have had progress. For instance:
- Ella has decided that the novelty of getting lots of attention for her condition has worn off.
- I have introduced her to Astro Boy.
- I have now progressed from dabbing her individual 'pocks' (as I like to call them) with calamine lotion, to just painting stripes of it over her entire body. At this rate, by tomorrow morning I'll just have a bucket of the stuff on hand to tip straight over her head.
I'm still coming to terms with being 100% housebound for at least the next week. And I'm torn between wanting Caleb to catch it to just get the whole thing over and done with, and wanting to delay the nightmare of convincing a not-yet-3-year-old not to scratch his insanely itching body.
Given that I can barely talk him into prying off his Superman suit - even when it's covered in last Thursday's pumpkin soup - trying to battle the right and wrong way to handle a flesh-eating disorder (hey, don't accuse me of melodrama, I'm getting cabin fever in here!) is not my idea of a rock'n'roll time.
Ah me.
At least Big Brother has just started. Oh no. Did I really just write that?
*banging head against wall*
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Ella has the Chickenpox
Apparently my itchiness to get overseas is contagious.
Though my condition does not require three baths a day, a constant change of bedsheets or panadol.
Doh.
Though my condition does not require three baths a day, a constant change of bedsheets or panadol.
Doh.
Friday, April 20, 2007
In the Motherhood
Check this out - an interactive web-series being made about adventures in mum-dom (or to be precise, 'mom-dom') where anybody can actually write their own stories and have them put in the show.
www.inthemotherhood.com
Hmmmmm...my mind is reeling!
Though somehow I doubt they'd be keen to recreate the horror episode of my life where Ella decided to decorate the local kids' pool with tiny pellets of poo. Not only would they have to create some serious special effects, but they'd have to find an actress who could swallow the diva factor and jump in a pond of fake diarrhea.
Yep. Never gonna happen.
www.inthemotherhood.com
Hmmmmm...my mind is reeling!
Though somehow I doubt they'd be keen to recreate the horror episode of my life where Ella decided to decorate the local kids' pool with tiny pellets of poo. Not only would they have to create some serious special effects, but they'd have to find an actress who could swallow the diva factor and jump in a pond of fake diarrhea.
Yep. Never gonna happen.
To my beloved NYC
My beautiful mate Kath (who, might I add is jetting off on her own mad overseas adventure in less than a fortnight) e-mailed me this amazing pic she took at sunset off the Empire State Building. I lamented the fact that my camera was unable to cope with the night-time thing, thus my photos - while plentiful - turned out pretty crap. Unlike this:
Aaaaaah, New York. It's been way too long.
Hopefully we shan't be apart too much longer, my love.
Aaaaaah, New York. It's been way too long.
Hopefully we shan't be apart too much longer, my love.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
An Open Letter to All Shopping Centre Managers
Dear Shopping Centre Managers,
Why, oh WHY do you insist on putting those bloody two dollar rides around every single corner of the shopping centre? The batman cars, the merry-go-rounds, the freaking Wiggles rides that film your child while they ride in that big bloody red car. What are you THINKING?!
I mean, I do understand what you're thinking - make it child-friendly, make it fun, make people want to stay longer! But I want to inform you that whatever those salespeople told you to get you to install one every five metres, you were duped.
Point one: they may be child-friendly, but they are not parent-friendly. Unless by parent-friendly you mean 'causes any actual progress in traversing said shopping centre to slow to a grinding halt' and 'incites tantrums at seven-minute intervals' or 'allows regular opportunity to throw money down a toilet'. Bottom line: it ain't cool.
Point two: they may be fun for the kids, but they suck for parents. I get motion sickness staring at some of them, plus the one time I actually got my daughter to go on the Wiggles one that films the kid while they ride, I ended up being the only one interested in demonstrating that feature. And nothing spells 'I'm a loser' like a mother waving madly into a video camera on a ride when the 3-year-old involved is more interested in playing with the 'refund' button.
Point three: the rides do not make me want to stay longer in your shopping centre. They make me want to either tear my hair out, scour the shops for a red spot special on cyanide or, in the absence of the above options, just get the hell out of there as quickly as possible.
So there you have it!
Please. Don't thank me. Just think of me as your own one-person focus group: you don't even need to pay me! Actually, if you do want to pay me, then I am, as I hope you are, open to suggestion.
Yours sincerely,
Comic Mummy.
Why, oh WHY do you insist on putting those bloody two dollar rides around every single corner of the shopping centre? The batman cars, the merry-go-rounds, the freaking Wiggles rides that film your child while they ride in that big bloody red car. What are you THINKING?!
I mean, I do understand what you're thinking - make it child-friendly, make it fun, make people want to stay longer! But I want to inform you that whatever those salespeople told you to get you to install one every five metres, you were duped.
Point one: they may be child-friendly, but they are not parent-friendly. Unless by parent-friendly you mean 'causes any actual progress in traversing said shopping centre to slow to a grinding halt' and 'incites tantrums at seven-minute intervals' or 'allows regular opportunity to throw money down a toilet'. Bottom line: it ain't cool.
Point two: they may be fun for the kids, but they suck for parents. I get motion sickness staring at some of them, plus the one time I actually got my daughter to go on the Wiggles one that films the kid while they ride, I ended up being the only one interested in demonstrating that feature. And nothing spells 'I'm a loser' like a mother waving madly into a video camera on a ride when the 3-year-old involved is more interested in playing with the 'refund' button.
Point three: the rides do not make me want to stay longer in your shopping centre. They make me want to either tear my hair out, scour the shops for a red spot special on cyanide or, in the absence of the above options, just get the hell out of there as quickly as possible.
So there you have it!
Please. Don't thank me. Just think of me as your own one-person focus group: you don't even need to pay me! Actually, if you do want to pay me, then I am, as I hope you are, open to suggestion.
Yours sincerely,
Comic Mummy.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Our Baby's Back!!!
Only slightly worse for wear, only missing our camera and only parked one suburb away.Can I get a WOOT!?
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Back from the Farm
Rest assured the lack of correspondence of late isn't cos I don't love youse all. Au contrere! (Ah, French, I'd better get used to you...but more on that a little later).
No, the fact is dear friends, that the entire fam and I have JUST returned - and I do mean 'just' as in literally walked in the door 10 minutes ago...that is how addicted I am to the internet - from a lovely few days visiting my bestest high school friend out on her farm. Precisely 5 and a half hours from here. A LONG way. Especially with kids. Especially when you get lost en route. But let's not dwell on the unpleasant past.
The point is we had a great time, complete with wallaby patting, roo-spotting and a motorcycle accident (fortunately nothing other than my elbow and Caleb's feelings were hurt) and we're now back and online.
Yay!
AND...our visas for Canada just came through. It's now officially 12 weeks until I leave, followed shortly after my Tim and the kiddlies. Life is good. Life is scary.
UPDATE: At this exact moment Tim has received a phonecall from the police saying that:
THEY HAVE FOUND OUR VAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No idea about the condition or anything else. Stay tuned.
WOOOOOOPPPPPPP!!!!
The writer of this blog makes no apologies for the use of over-capitalisation in this entry. Cos life is scary, good and worthy of occasional use of big letters.
No, the fact is dear friends, that the entire fam and I have JUST returned - and I do mean 'just' as in literally walked in the door 10 minutes ago...that is how addicted I am to the internet - from a lovely few days visiting my bestest high school friend out on her farm. Precisely 5 and a half hours from here. A LONG way. Especially with kids. Especially when you get lost en route. But let's not dwell on the unpleasant past.
The point is we had a great time, complete with wallaby patting, roo-spotting and a motorcycle accident (fortunately nothing other than my elbow and Caleb's feelings were hurt) and we're now back and online.
Yay!
AND...our visas for Canada just came through. It's now officially 12 weeks until I leave, followed shortly after my Tim and the kiddlies. Life is good. Life is scary.
UPDATE: At this exact moment Tim has received a phonecall from the police saying that:
THEY HAVE FOUND OUR VAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No idea about the condition or anything else. Stay tuned.
WOOOOOOPPPPPPP!!!!
The writer of this blog makes no apologies for the use of over-capitalisation in this entry. Cos life is scary, good and worthy of occasional use of big letters.
Monday, April 09, 2007
Post-Easter Blues
Or maybe it's just the nausea kicking in from ingesting illegal amounts of chocolate.
Never mind.
I'm just stoked cos we managed to get through it - I was worried because in typical Comic Mummy style, I left all the easter-egg buying until the day before Easter. Meaning that:
- given that we were away at Mt Tambourne for the weekend I had no choice but to buy them at the one and only shop that was open and had eggs for sale, meaning that:
- I had to pay stupid amounts of $$ for the damn things, plus:
- Ella insisted on coming in with me.
She then insisted on putting all of them into the fridge when we got back to the apartment. So there I was thinking "Oh no!!! It's going to come morning, she's going to recognise 100% of the so-called Easter Bunny's treats as being the ones we bought at the shop, and it's all Hasta la vista, bunny.
Tim was all for it. "If she asks, we'll just tell her the truth. I never believed in the Easter Bunny anyway."
"But what if she asks about Santa then?" I was getting upset.
"We'll just tell her the truth."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! We can't destroy all the magic of these things in a five minute period! That's not fair! She's only four!"
Anyway, aside from a midnight nature call when Ella noticed Tim snoring in the dark corner, took a short breath and exclaimed: "Is that the Easter Bunny?" the night was uneventful.
Then at the crack of dawn, she bounced out of bed and jumped out to the eggs that awaited. She was super-excited, but then looked perplexed.
I held my 'everything's fine' grin and waited for it.
She ran to the fridge and looked inside, then inhaled sharply.
"Oh NO!!!!!!"
"What honey?" I asked, trying to keep it cool.
She looked up at me with genuine concern. "The Easter Bunny took ALL our eggs out of the fridge!"
Happy Easter y'all.
Never mind.
I'm just stoked cos we managed to get through it - I was worried because in typical Comic Mummy style, I left all the easter-egg buying until the day before Easter. Meaning that:
- given that we were away at Mt Tambourne for the weekend I had no choice but to buy them at the one and only shop that was open and had eggs for sale, meaning that:
- I had to pay stupid amounts of $$ for the damn things, plus:
- Ella insisted on coming in with me.
She then insisted on putting all of them into the fridge when we got back to the apartment. So there I was thinking "Oh no!!! It's going to come morning, she's going to recognise 100% of the so-called Easter Bunny's treats as being the ones we bought at the shop, and it's all Hasta la vista, bunny.
Tim was all for it. "If she asks, we'll just tell her the truth. I never believed in the Easter Bunny anyway."
"But what if she asks about Santa then?" I was getting upset.
"We'll just tell her the truth."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! We can't destroy all the magic of these things in a five minute period! That's not fair! She's only four!"
Anyway, aside from a midnight nature call when Ella noticed Tim snoring in the dark corner, took a short breath and exclaimed: "Is that the Easter Bunny?" the night was uneventful.
Then at the crack of dawn, she bounced out of bed and jumped out to the eggs that awaited. She was super-excited, but then looked perplexed.
I held my 'everything's fine' grin and waited for it.
She ran to the fridge and looked inside, then inhaled sharply.
"Oh NO!!!!!!"
"What honey?" I asked, trying to keep it cool.
She looked up at me with genuine concern. "The Easter Bunny took ALL our eggs out of the fridge!"
Happy Easter y'all.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
3 Uplifting Things About This Week
1. I started playing with my new baby.
Damn, damn, DAMN I've missed you!!!
2. I got this text from one of my favourite people ever, Marc Buckingham:
Heard u got another grant! Yeah baby! You're the one! The prophecy!"
3. Last night after the Qld Triple J Raw Comedy Final (I just got there in time to catch a rockin set by my mate Damien Power and saw victory taken out by two wicked up-and-coming comics Shaun Conroy and Ellen from Byron Bay), the lovely Soulla gave me this:
It reads: "Sometimes the world really is your oyster."
Vote for Darren!
My mate Darren Brinkworth is a finalist in the Nova Nuts for Comedy Competition.
So please...do us all a favour and vote for him by clicking here! I believe you can vote once a day and even win $1000 for your troubles.
So there: don't say I never do anything for you.
So please...do us all a favour and vote for him by clicking here! I believe you can vote once a day and even win $1000 for your troubles.
So there: don't say I never do anything for you.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Monday, April 02, 2007
You've won the battle, Spiderman, but not the war!
Caleb is OBSESSED with superheroes. It drives me nuts, namely cos:
- I have to pry his costumes off him using velcro, a pitchfork and chocolate.
- I'm just waiting for the day I'm rushing to hospital after he launches himself off the steps, crying "To Infinity, And Beyond!" (or more accurately "Dooo Fiinnny Blonde!")
- I can unwittingly cause the world's largest tantrum purely by addressing him by the wrong name.
But today was the last straw.
Caleb: "A spider bit me on my head!"
Me: "What? What kind of spider?"
Caleb: "SPIDER!" (crying)
Ella: "A green spider, actually no it was a black spider."
Me: "A Daddy Long Legs?"
Ella: "Hmmmmm. A Baby Long Legs."
I check him over - nothing. No marks, no swelling, not even a mozzie bite.
At this point, I'm wondering what's worse - the embarrassment of taking him to the hospital in a spiderman costume, asking them to check for spiderbites which it turns out are created by my son's over-active imagination, or how bad I'd feel if I didn't take him to the hospital and it turned out to be legitimate.
I weigh it up.
Embarrassment.
I chuck him in the shower, wash his hair thoroughly and check him over for again - nada. He seems happy enough and doesn't mention it again for hours...then of course, comes nap-time.
Caleb: "I can't sleep."
Me: "Why not?"
Caleb: "A spider bite me!"
Where's Venom when you need him?
- I have to pry his costumes off him using velcro, a pitchfork and chocolate.
- I'm just waiting for the day I'm rushing to hospital after he launches himself off the steps, crying "To Infinity, And Beyond!" (or more accurately "Dooo Fiinnny Blonde!")
- I can unwittingly cause the world's largest tantrum purely by addressing him by the wrong name.
But today was the last straw.
Caleb: "A spider bit me on my head!"
Me: "What? What kind of spider?"
Caleb: "SPIDER!" (crying)
Ella: "A green spider, actually no it was a black spider."
Me: "A Daddy Long Legs?"
Ella: "Hmmmmm. A Baby Long Legs."
I check him over - nothing. No marks, no swelling, not even a mozzie bite.
At this point, I'm wondering what's worse - the embarrassment of taking him to the hospital in a spiderman costume, asking them to check for spiderbites which it turns out are created by my son's over-active imagination, or how bad I'd feel if I didn't take him to the hospital and it turned out to be legitimate.
I weigh it up.
Embarrassment.
I chuck him in the shower, wash his hair thoroughly and check him over for again - nada. He seems happy enough and doesn't mention it again for hours...then of course, comes nap-time.
Caleb: "I can't sleep."
Me: "Why not?"
Caleb: "A spider bite me!"
Where's Venom when you need him?
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Happy entries are soooo hot right now
Had such a beautifully rocking gig tonight. It was kinda surreal to be reunited with Dames and Adam who I started doing improv with way back in late 2004 at the good old Melbourne Hotel in West End. Indeed, tonight gave me serious flashbacks of when it all began, way back when I was just so completely chuffed to even have a chance to be onstage, when having a free meal and a couple of drinks vouchers counted as 'well paid' and when just the opportunity to get out of the house once a week was worth the effort. Back when performing wasn't a career thing, it was just fun.
And tonight certainly was fun. Yay! I tried out a new character onstage, tried using a keyboard onstage for the first time and I'm happy to report that both undertakings seemed to go well.
So hip hip hooray for happy gigs and subsequent happy blog entries!
And tonight certainly was fun. Yay! I tried out a new character onstage, tried using a keyboard onstage for the first time and I'm happy to report that both undertakings seemed to go well.
So hip hip hooray for happy gigs and subsequent happy blog entries!
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