Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Ella's Version of an Ultimatum

"Mummy, either you take me to the park now, or I'm going to give you a big fart."

Where, oh where did I go wrong?

7 comments:

Louise said...

In my house that's a perfectly legit threat... what are you trying to say????

Jenny Wynter said...

Does this mean I can send her over to China for a little holiday? You'll be like the auntie she never had - partners in fluff, and all that.

Huggies said...

Atleast it isn't a turd..

Louise said...

Unfortunately these threats usually (but I admit not always*) come at me, not from me- and two attack-farters ganging up on me in the same house is a little too much.

*In my defence, I challenge any of you to not fart after drinking shanghai water- in fact the odd fart is the least of your worries.

Anonymous said...

Possible responses:

- (Lets rip with a huge one)
"Mummy had baked beans for breakfast!"

- "Nope. No, we're not going to the park. Not on your nelly! No way!" (On the assumption that the type of fart she is referring to is this.)

- "I'll have you know that pre-emptive farting is banned by the UN, as set out in the 1955 Geneva Protocol On Flatulence, Emissions, Micturation, and Associated Burps and Bodily Emissions." (Caution: This method works rarely.)

So: which response DID you use?

Anonymous said...

Oh, and:

"Naughty girl! Gentlemen fart, ladies break wind."

Jenny Wynter said...

Huggies - can't argue with that.

Louise - oh diddams. Isn't that the beauty of cyber-relationships: no bodily functions to shatter the illusion of perfection.

Fartinacanonymous - I'm sorry to report I was not nearly that clever and instead made the stupid and quite unforgivable move of laughing. So of course...she'll never be doing THAT again....

*holding head in hands*