Unfortunately these threats usually (but I admit not always*) come at me, not from me- and two attack-farters ganging up on me in the same house is a little too much.
*In my defence, I challenge any of you to not fart after drinking shanghai water- in fact the odd fart is the least of your worries.
- (Lets rip with a huge one) "Mummy had baked beans for breakfast!"
- "Nope. No, we're not going to the park. Not on your nelly! No way!" (On the assumption that the type of fart she is referring to is this.)
- "I'll have you know that pre-emptive farting is banned by the UN, as set out in the 1955 Geneva Protocol On Flatulence, Emissions, Micturation, and Associated Burps and Bodily Emissions." (Caution: This method works rarely.)
Louise - oh diddams. Isn't that the beauty of cyber-relationships: no bodily functions to shatter the illusion of perfection.
Fartinacanonymous - I'm sorry to report I was not nearly that clever and instead made the stupid and quite unforgivable move of laughing. So of course...she'll never be doing THAT again....
7 comments:
In my house that's a perfectly legit threat... what are you trying to say????
Does this mean I can send her over to China for a little holiday? You'll be like the auntie she never had - partners in fluff, and all that.
Atleast it isn't a turd..
Unfortunately these threats usually (but I admit not always*) come at me, not from me- and two attack-farters ganging up on me in the same house is a little too much.
*In my defence, I challenge any of you to not fart after drinking shanghai water- in fact the odd fart is the least of your worries.
Possible responses:
- (Lets rip with a huge one)
"Mummy had baked beans for breakfast!"
- "Nope. No, we're not going to the park. Not on your nelly! No way!" (On the assumption that the type of fart she is referring to is this.)
- "I'll have you know that pre-emptive farting is banned by the UN, as set out in the 1955 Geneva Protocol On Flatulence, Emissions, Micturation, and Associated Burps and Bodily Emissions." (Caution: This method works rarely.)
So: which response DID you use?
Oh, and:
"Naughty girl! Gentlemen fart, ladies break wind."
Huggies - can't argue with that.
Louise - oh diddams. Isn't that the beauty of cyber-relationships: no bodily functions to shatter the illusion of perfection.
Fartinacanonymous - I'm sorry to report I was not nearly that clever and instead made the stupid and quite unforgivable move of laughing. So of course...she'll never be doing THAT again....
*holding head in hands*
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