Doctor Karl???

Check this out!!!

Wow. And I thought the whole Prisoner/baby stealing/token nutter thing was Neighbours going downhill.

Haha.

Or rather:

AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!

My daughter the personal trainer

So Ella and I have started working out together. I know, I know, at four years old 'cellulite' isn't really even worth pronouncing, let alone worrying about. But she's expressed such enthusiasm to join me in my morning exercise - in fact almost equal to my enthusiasm to not do it at all - that we've joined forces.

Let me tell you, if you haven't had a child to whoop your ass into a tight wad of muscly goodness (okay, maybe I'm overselling myself there) then you are seriously missing out. There's nothing quite like a tiny bundle of limbs saying "Okay, now let's RUN MUMMY!" followed very shortly afterwards (I'm happy to say) by "Okay, now let's walk."

Insert skipping, star jumps and running laps around the playground - i.e. me running laps while she works out her pecs on the climbing equipment - topped off with piggy-backing said child home when she's absolutely flat-out pooped at the end and you have yourself one hell of a workout in the guise of quality mummy-daughter time.

In short ladies and gentlemen, I think we have a whole new revamp concept for the next The Biggest Loser: BYO child and get them to take responsibility for their part in your postnatal jiggly bits.

Hell, I'd probably even take part.

The debut

I had a moment last night, right as my lovely stage-manager Shelly said "One minute to go, Jen," where I actually thought "Why am I doing this to myself?"

I still haven't found an answer, except maybe the adrenalin rush...let's just hope I don't build up an immunity. Anyway, the show went great as far as debuts go - had lots of fun, got lots of lovely feedback and sweated up a storm (I have GOT to get fit if I'm going to continue doing this stuff!) and apart from the fact that about forty people who RSVPd didn't show up - it was a really lovely rocking night.

I had fun, learned a lot about bits that work and bits that don't, and premiered three new characters, one of which (Beatta, the performance artist from New York) was so overwhelmingly popular that I was a little taken aback - I should mention that up until last week she was actually a Moscowian absurdist artist who was going to perform a Russian hoe-down, and in fact I was a little concerned that such an antagonistic persona might actually turn people off her.

Mrs Sorenson went down well too - I was really nervous about her making her on-stage debut too. She's become something of a cult figure on The Frog and Peach on ZZZ, thus I worried that anyone who did listen to the show might be a bit put-off by how different she looks from what they'd imagined in their head. But as soon as I stepped into her, she just took on a life of her own (as she does) and that actually became one of my favourite segments of the show.

Plus of course, I had lots of beautiful friends, loved ones and other supporters who came to share the love. Thanks you guys!

Bottom line: I had lots of fun, and thanks to a no-doze and two red-bulls I stayed up til the wee hours dissecting the entire thing with Timmy. The next show's going to be a heap tighter, that's for sure.

Oh and now I can now FINALLY acquit my grant! WOOT!

*Thanks to everybody who helped make this happen - way too many to mention but especially to BrizImprovFest. It's June 22-24 @ Metro Arts and it is going to ROCK!

Presenting Mrs Richards

I am tired and stressed.

I am also going to Sydney tomorrow for a corporate character gig - I feel a little torn cos part of me thinks I should be spending the night working on my show, but then the other part thinks it will be good to just chill out, forget about it and instead just exercise my character improv skills anyway. And of course, make some actual money.

Have I ever showed you a photo of the character I play in these shows? It's Mrs Richards from Faulty Towers. This is my version of her:

Slightly scary, no?

Anyway, the point is I shall spend my pre-show night being a cantankerous old wench.

Sooooo far removed from my everyday existence, of course. ;-)

In the Courier Mail today...

The pics are terrifying, but if you're keen to check it out flip to page 43 (it's in the Today section).

Or just click here.

*Note: I take no responsibility for any resemblance I bear to this chick:

I swear we are not related. Are we Dad?

Dad?????

Terrified

So the Canada jaunt is fast approaching and I'm excited: and dead scared.

Scared that we are going to a new country with absolutely no idea where we'll live, absolutely no idea where (and indeed, if!) we'll get work, and absolutely no idea where our lives will lead.

This would be scary in any situation, but with the welfare of two little bundles of lard (I'm sorry, I mean, joy) at stake, it's damn well giving Silence of the Lambs a run for its money.

The only comfort I'm taking at the moment is the knowledge that it is our choice to embark on this mad adventure, that no matter what happens at least we'll all be together and that my dear sister-in-law Cat (who is a very well-travelled kick-butt human being) told me she has felt sheer terror and uncertainty before every single trip she's ever taken.

All that, plus the knowledge that if it all goes horribly pear-shaped, I can write the screenplay and sell it as the next The Pursuit of Happyness. Though hopefully we won't be curling up in a public toilet somewhere, cuddled into a ball and weeping.

That would suck.

You know it's a funny birthday party when...

1. The birthday boy kicks of the day's festivities by weeing all over the bathroom floor. (Seriously, if you haven't tried this at least once in your life, you should.)

2. The birthday boy - who up to this point has been completely and utterly superhero-obsessed to the point of refusing to wear anything NOT superhero themed - chooses the day of his superhero themed birthday party to change his mind and REFUSE to wear any of his superhero outfits.

3. The birthday boy's mummy forgets to take the drinks out of the fridge - thus bringing new meaning to the concept of a 'dry party'.

4. The birthday boy's family camera decides to konk out, even though it is only two months old, meaning that the birthday photos are outsourced to birthday boy's uncle's phone camera.

5. Everybody has fun anyway.

*I'll be posting photos soon, I promise!! But for now to qualm your insatiable imagery appetite, here's a post-party pic of the kids enjoying one of Caleb's pressies from Grandpa and Grandma: a car rented out for the weekend! Oh boy, what have we started?

Introducing my son the 3-year-old.

Caleb's third birthday seems to have coincided with a strange little proccupation with calling me by my first name.

Caleb: "Hey Jenny!"

Me: (insert amused tone here) "Yes?"

Caleb: "Ummmm...Jenny, can you get me juice?"

Me: "Can you say 'please'?"

Caleb: "Please Jenny?"

Me: "Sure Caleb."

Caleb: "I NOT CALEB!!! I SUPERMAN!"

Me: "Okay Superman!"

Caleb: 'Thank you Jenny. Thank you Jenny Wynter."

I have GOTTA tape record this stuff.

Oh, and we're having a party for him this Saturday, featuring the theme of, da da da da! Superheroes. How did you guess? No, really, you must be truly clever.

Which, on that note, you don't happen to have a recipe for a Spiderman cake, do you?

BrizImprovFest Launch - May 27th!

American Television, how do I miss thee...

On my flight to LA last year, as I attempted to drown my nerves in vodka and orange, the American girl sitting next to me said "Oh my God Jenny, you are going to laugh so much at our television."

Me: "What do you mean?"

Her: "All I'm saying is, you will be blown away. It's just ridiculous."

Cut to that night (or the next...between jet-lag and time-zones, who even keeps track of these things?). I got to my hotel room, showered off, had a good cry as I came to terms with being on the other side of the globe from my kiddlies, and then popped the telly on. Boy oh boy.

It was ridiculous, in a comedian's wet dream kinda way. I seriously busted a gut laughing on more than one occasion. In fact, I found it so funny that I ended up tape recording about 11 hours worth of it to bring back here with me...little did I know then how expensive it is to transfer formats - oh well, at least I'll have hours of televised gold ready to view when I get back to that dear continent.

I particularly remember three things:

1. Nancy Grace, my first EVER experience of American TV. (For the unanointed, picture Naomi Robson as a southern American belle but with bigger balls and a sadistic taste for re-hashing horrendous events in excruciating spelled-out detail). I felt disturbed, violated and physically ill - and that was just the first two minutes.

2. Outback Jack, the entire series of which I watched with glee with Lizzy's family on my one weekend off on the whole trip. I think it did screen here too, but it was just so much better watching these American princesses vying for the attention of a supposed 'typical' Aussie bloke (whateverrrr....) while being in their homeland.

3. American Big Brother. Oh boy this cracked me up. The narrator was like someone from the world wrestling: "Big Brother's BACK! He's BIGGER! And he's NOT HAPPY!" This was followed by footage of some very angry looking housemates screaming at each other, chucking tantrums and throwing chairs. I remember chuckling at how far removed this seemed from our very laid-back version...yet this season it seems like chair-throwing might actually be in the air (no pun intended).

American TV - it's no New York, but I am looking forward to getting back to it.

Sneak preview of BrizImprovFest show

Absolutely 100% exclusive to the Comic Mummy blog (don't you feel all special now?) here's a little sneak preview of my upcoming show - otherwise known as the start of my downhill slide:

Hey, the show ain't called Self Indulgent for nothing! (Oh and for those long term readers out there, the character with the purple sequins and American flag in her hair is who I was when I met Martin Short in New York: no wonder he hated me!)

To book go here.

Paris Hilton in jail

It'll be the one Simple Life episode I ever watch.

But aside from that, check this out if you haven't already: there's a petition going round to free Paris.

"The petition, which had more than 900 signatures by this morning, urges the California actor-turned-governor to pardon Hilton because she provides "beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives".

Oh please. She should be let off the hook because she’s pretty and we’re boring?

Heaven help us.

What's happening to me?

1. I just tried to log into 'glogger'.com

2. I very nearly just attempted asking the dog to please fetch me a drink of water.

Hmmmmm...

Yes, I really am a publicity slorry now...

NOW? I hear you say.

Touche. (I wish I knew how to do the little accents on the 'e').

Anyway, click here if you feel in the mood. This is only one small part of a very groovy site called agiggle.com which features tons of amazing up-and-coming (and already there) comedians including of course, my insert-your-own-adjective-here self.

From my honest POV I think my clip's okay - it was unfortunately shot only a few days after Chris died, so the whole thing just felt bizarre...to put it mildly.

But anyway, I think the site itself and the whole concept of getting comedians out there totally rocks. Go check it out!!

And if you're a comedian, get in touch with them through the site for sure. :-)

The wedding that rocked the kazbah

Congrats Brad and Lou-Lou!!!

Very beautiful, very casual and da, da, da, da: very child-friendly!

The kids danced their little buttocks off, as did we. Indeed, I thought the day would never come when I'd have an excuse to do a dancing duet with Ella to "God Gave Rock'n'Roll To You". But it did.

Thanks guys. For sharing your gorgeous day with us and thereby allowing us to squeeze in a wonderfully enjoyable day of rocking out with the kids betwen tantrums. Days like that are just magic in that they make me feel more like the mummies on the Huggies commercials (minus the grooming) and less like this:

Back from Marti-Grass

Got home at 3 this morning absolutely rotten tired - and coming from me that is actually saying something - after a weekend of chilled out but suitably rocking gigs and hanging out with some of my favourite funny people in the middle of the bush.

The good news is, after having some time away from Tim and I, the kids like us again.

The less good news is that this very afternoon we have to go our dear friends' wedding - not a bad thing in itself obviously, but I do wish we were a little more spritely to make the most of it.

Oh well: bring on the caffeine and let's party!

Tickets to BrizImprovFest Show

They're finally online! Woohoo!

1. Come along - Sunday May 27th @ Uber, for the launch of BrizImprovFest, featuring group improv by Impromafia and a preview showing of my full-length one-woman variety show Jenny Wynter is: SELF INDULGENT.

You can buy them by clicking here.

Two Inspiring Women

Look at Doctor Fiona Wood. Just look at her.

Saving lives. Changing the world.

But now for the big stuff - she's got six kids.

Wow.

I have worked out that her secret to operating wonders (no pun intended) on very little sleep is either:
a) she is an android
b) she is an android or
c) she keeps herself in prime physical form.

I remember reading once that she has simply resigned herself to the fact that to do everything she wants to do she has to sacrifice sleep - she goes to bed in the wee hours of the morning and is up at 5 for an hour-long bike ride.

Holy insert-comedic-noun.

But...I have to say that I've been completely inspired lately to do likewise. To look after my body better, to get into my peak form body-wise so that I am actually physically empowered to do all the crazy stuff with my life that I want to. I mean, performing regularly onstage alone requires a LOT of energy, and let's not even get started on wiping up poo.

So...I've bitten the bullet and have taken up exercising every single day. It's mad - so not something I thought I'd be into, but the thing is, it's actually turning out to be kinda cool. Plus, it's something I can do with the kids. And they're getting into it too.

I know, I know, sheer unadulterated madness.

Admittedly, we're only two days in, but so far, so good. Give me an 'E'!

(For 'exercise', you naughty naughty people.)

In other semi-related news, I've been having singing lessons with this amazing woman Ofelia Guizzon. The lessons, (which Tim very thoughtfully bought for my b'day - bless. Sure as heck beats Hungry Jacks for breakfast) have been amazing - actually discovering ways to use my body to get my voice to do things I never would have thought it capable of.

I feel like I've got me a whole new bag'o'tricks to take overseas. Let's just hope China Airlines don't charge for excess baggage.